Funny Side of Life
Everyone needs to laugh once a day so I thought I would make a thread so everyone can share the funny things.
I could not resist sharing this. Word of caution tho, Some profanity and go to the bathroom before reading. I almost wet my pants on this one,
6 Things No One Tells You About Living on a Farm | Cracked.com
anyone else have any to add?
give it time, sister Taz. The flocks will come.
WARNING: This post may contain material offensive to those who lack wit, humor, common sense and/or supporting factual or anecdotal evidence. All statements and assertions contained herein may be subject to but not limited to: irony, metaphor, allusion and dripping sarcasm.
Funny, but true.
I'll have to wait until I get home from work to view/read it. Site is blocked on my work PC.
"There are no winners in war, only bigger losers"
If you see me or hear me coming, I'm not doing my job.
Thats some funny shit there Taz, Literally. I totally agree with the chicken portion. They crap everywhere and have no shame.
Ok here is a good one!
In war times a guy went to the local recruiting agency and said that he wanted in the infantry.
When asked why he said... "I have a tremendous desire to kill people".
They took him in and issued him the newest latest and greatest weapon... a 5' long deadly sick. (so he wouldn't kill friendly's)
He went through boot camp and was tough how to use it like a surgeons scalpel... Point it and udder the words... Stick-a-dee stick stick stick. He grew to be a well trained killing machine.
He was sent to the front line.
In his foxhole an attacker came at him.
He held up his weapon and uddered... Stich-a-dee stick stick stick.
The attacker dropped dead in his tracks.
This happen several of times and every time the attacker dropped dead... until...
An attacker came a marching (a semi slow steady march with clinched fists and no weapon)
The holder of the mighty stick raised his stick and shouted... Stick-a-dee stick stick stick!!!
Nothen.
Again... Stick-a-dee stick stick stick!!!
Still the guy didn't drop.
This proceeded until the unarmed guy with clinched fists ran right over the top of him (squishing him flat).
The last thing the holder of the stick heard off in the distance was a soft repetitive rumble... Tank-a-dee Tank Tank Tank.
Poor little stick stick he got turned into kindling.
Talking Dog
[IMG][/IMG]
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign
in front of a broken-down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale."
He rings the bell, and the owner appears to tell him the
dog is in the backyard.The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice
looking Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.After the guy recovers from the shock of
hearing a dog talk, he asks "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk
when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told
the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country,
sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one
figured a dog would be eavesdropping."I was one of their most valuable
spies for eight years running... But the jetting around really tired me out,
and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed
up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near
suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings
and was awarded a batch of medals.
"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for
the dog. "Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a bull shitter and a liar. He's never been out of the yard!!!
^^^ Hahahaha.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks