Funny Side of Life

[Evolver]

Three little ducks go into a bar.
"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asks the first duck.
"Huey," he replies.
"How's your day been Huey?"
Great. In and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" says Huey.
"Oh, that's nice," says the bartender.
He turns to the second duck, "Hi, and what's your name?"
"Dewey," is the reply.
"So how's your day been, Dewey?" he asks.
"In and out of puddles all day myself. Great day. What more could a duck want?"
The bartender turns to the third duck and says, "So, you must be Louie?"

"No," she says, batting her eyelashes. "My name is Puddles."

[Sniper-T]

The cow, the ant and the old fart



The Cow, the Ant and the Old Fart


A cow, an ant and an old fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.

The cow said, "I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!"

The ant said, "I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own
weight and that's why I am the greatest!"

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Why are you scrolling down? It's your turn to say something.

[Taz Baby]

Old fart said, " I eat the cow and kill the ants That why I am the greatest of you all".

[Taz Baby]

[Taz Baby]

[Taz Baby]

[Taz Baby]

I agree 100% on this one.

[Taz Baby]

[Taz Baby]

[Taz Baby]

Towards the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question.

All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

'Mrs. Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'

'I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.

'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'

'Ninety-eight.' she replied.

'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:

'I've outlived the bitches.'