Funny Side of Life

[Sniper-T]

There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose
lives paralleled each other in amazing ways. On the same day, month and
year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy.

Faithfully, they attended their respective parochial schools from
kindergarten through their Senior years in high school. They took their
vows to enter the priesthood early in their college days, and upon
graduation became priests.

Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generally
acknowledged that Antonio was just a cut above Timothy in all respects.
Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop and finally Cardinal
was meteoric to say the least, and the Catholic world knew that when the
present Pope died, it would be either Timothy or Antonio who would become
the next Pope.

In time the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work. In less
time than anyone had expected, white smoke rose from the chimney, and the
world waited to see who they had chosen. The world, Catholic, Protestant and
secular was surprised to learn that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope!

Antonio was beyond surprise, he was devastated, because even with all
Timothy's gifts, Antonio knew he was the better qualified. With gall that
shocked the Cardinals, Antonio asked for a private session with
them in which he candidly asked, "Why Timothy"?

After a long silence, one old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered Antonio
and rose to reply, "We knew you were the better of the two, but we just could
not bear the thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being
called............

Are you ready for this??...........

Pope Secola.

[jamesneuen]

Took me forever to figure that one out...... not as easy if you arent hearing it out loud I think....

[Sniper-T]

lol... yep, gotta sound it out! lol

[ElevenBravo]

A Texas Ranger attends a gala event, soon after arriving a young lady approaches him and ask "Ranger, why did you bring your 45 to the event?" He says "Ma'am, I always have my side arm with me." She ask "Why, are you expecting trouble?"



















"No ma'am, if I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my shotgun too!"

[Sniper-T]

Am truly perplexed that so many people are against another mosque being built. I think it should be the goal of every person to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs.
Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque,
thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque.
We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy ",
and the other a topless bar called "You Mecca Me Hot."

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that
an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called "Iraq o' Ribs."

Across the street there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret ",
with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.

Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, "Koranal Knowledge ",
its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side an off-licence called "Morehammered."

All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us,
so their mosque issue would not be a problem for others."

Yes we should promote tolerance, and you can do your part by sharing this on

[ElevenBravo]

I would like to frequent several of those shops... I love pork too!

[Sniper-T]

A Baptist Preacher was making his rounds on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. 'How much do you want for the mower?' asked the preacher.
'I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle,' said the little boy.
After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, Will you take my bike in trade for it?'
The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and, after riding the bike around a little while, said, 'Mister, you've got yourself a deal.'
The preacher took the mower and began to crank it. He pulled on the rope a few times with no response from the mower. The preacher called the little boy over and said, 'I can't get this mower to start.'
The little boy said, 'That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started.'
The preacher said, I can't cuss. It's been so long since I became a Born Again Christian that I don't even remember how to cuss.'
The little boy looked at him happily and said, 'You just keep pulling on that rope. It'll come back to ya.

[Sniper-T]

[Sniper-T]

I soooo gotta try this:

[Sniper-T]

I am going to hell...