I had a guy I worked with years ago that had a similar lunch box, but on the side it read it was used for transporting fresh horse semen. He never had anyone steal his lunch!
I had a guy I worked with years ago that had a similar lunch box, but on the side it read it was used for transporting fresh horse semen. He never had anyone steal his lunch!
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
The year is 2020 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Susan Goldstein.
She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, "So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?"
"I don't think so. It's a ten-hour drive, your father isn't as young as he used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again."
"Don't worry about it, Mom, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door."
"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy-schmantzy; what on earth would I wear?
Susan replies, "I'll make sure you have a wonderful gown, custom-made by the best designer in New York."
"Honey," Mom complains, "you know I can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."
The President-to-be responds, "Don't worry Mom. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in New York; kosher all the way. Mom, I really want you to come."
So Mom reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2021, Susan Goldstein is being sworn in as President of the United States. In the front row sits the new President's mother
who leans over to a Senator sitting next to her and says, "You see that woman over there with her hand on the Torah, becoming President of the United States?"
The Senator whispers back, "Yes, I do."
Mom says proudly, "Her brother is a doctor.
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
RED NECK VASECTOMY
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Last edited by RedJohn; 04-02-2016 at 12:39 PM. Reason: Edited the [IMG] tags
...and this just in to our news room, traffic is backed up for miles on the main hi way, as one large vehicle has rear ended into another...massive explosions and a large bit of noise was heard for miles away. Said one bystander...I felt the earth shake.
Last edited by RedJohn; 04-02-2016 at 12:40 PM. Reason: Edited the [IMG] tags
A distressed but very attractive woman stood at the edge of a cliff, trying
to get up the nerve to jump. A passing hobo stopped and asked, "Since
you're about to kill yourself anyway, would you mind if we had sex first?"
> The woman said "Get away from me you sicko!"
> The bum turned and, as he was leaving, he muttered, "Fine, I'll just go wait at the bottom.???
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
Not a joke, but really should be, as I can't stop chuckling at the unfortunate names of these games. I'm thinking they must have been created in simpler times.
1. The Hooping Cornhole game:
https://www.lehmans.com/p-5190-hoopi...hole-game.aspx
2. The Pop Cornhole Game:
https://www.lehmans.com/p-5190-hoopi...hole-game.aspx
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
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Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
If that is a selfie in a mirror, why arn't the words backwards?
They say that the cockroaches will be the last creature alive on this earth.
I intend on being the last person alive still stomping cockroaches.
Reversing mirror!
Probably photo shopped, but I don't really care, I just like the message.
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
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