My Mother

[eagle326]

To the Ant Colony:
I know that I haven't posted many of my sites for your viewing on various subjects since I've been here.

I've been the P.O.A. for my mother for about 4 years now and have been attending to her medical needs. she's a little over a month from turning 83 yrs. old.She has 4th. stage renal failure. We checked her blood pressure Tuesday because she didn't look right. Her vitals were 181 over 116 with 126 blood pressure. We ambulanced her to E.R. and found a weaken heart with a blood clot along with her irregular heart beat and bladder infection.

The doctors now have her stabilized for the most part. I had the doctor explain the options to my siblings so they understood. She's too frail and weak for re-hab for her condition. So I made the decision that she'll come home Monday or Tuesday to my house with Hospice care until she's called to go home. I've had my momma for 61 yrs. and will dearly miss her but I want her home with family that day and I want her at peace and not suffering anymore.

I find comfort everyday by coming here and reading the different post from all of you and prize the fact that you all let me camp here and call this home. I guess I need to tell someone other than my wife and I feel a strength and peace in this colony that I can't find anywhere else.

As Always:
Eagle326

[ladyhk13]

Eagle my heart felt blessings are with you and your family. I know that this has to be the most difficult time for you and to watch the woman who has loved you all of your life slowly slip from this world. I also know that she loves you more than anything for bringing her home to you to spend her last days with those who care for her the most and not leave her in a sterile room where she could pass when no one happens to be in the room with her, all alone and afraid.
God bless you and give you strenght. I am with you in my heart and although I cannot do anything for you from here, know that my prayers are with you at your home.

[RedJohn]

I am bad at saying anything in these conditions. I just wish that everything goes the best it can in these circumstances. If I can be of any help, despite my actual location, just let me know.

[bacpacker]

Brother, I'm so sorry to hear this news. I know this is eating you up seeing your mom go thru this. Take solice in knowing you have done all you can and will be with her till her end. Their is nothing more a person could ask of their family. If their is anything at all I can do please let me know. We will be praying for you and your family. Please keep us updated as you can.

[eagle326]

Eagle my heart felt blessings are with you and your family. I know that this has to be the most difficult time for you and to watch the woman who has loved you all of your life slowly slip from this world. I also know that she loves you more than anything for bringing her home to you to spend her last days with those who care for her the most and not leave her in a sterile room where she could pass when no one happens to be in the room with her, all alone and afraid.
God bless you and give you strenght. I am with you in my heart and although I cannot do anything for you from here, know that my prayers are with you at your home.

Thanks ; I believe there's no love like a mother's love and it should be returned like wise to her.

[eagle326]

I am bad at saying anything in these conditions. I just wish that everything goes the best it can in these circumstances. If I can be of any help, despite my actual location, just let me know.

Red John your reply says more than you know. Thanks

[Taz Baby]

Dear Lord watch over eagle and his family as they need you now. Give them your love and strength to get through this tough time. Help them to understand that their family member is going home to you now, and will be at peace. That she will always be there to watch over them. Take all their sorrows and pain and replace it with understanding. I trust you Jesus for you are Gods Son, AMEN

[eagle326]

Brother, I'm so sorry to hear this news. I know this is eating you up seeing your mom go thru this. Take solice in knowing you have done all you can and will be with her till her end. Their is nothing more a person could ask of their family. If their is anything at all I can do please let me know. We will be praying for you and your family. Please keep us updated as you can.

Thanks Brother. Yes it tends to eat at you ;but being the eldest son it's my duty to return the love and help back to her as she did for me. I would have it no other way as she gave birth to me and has loved me thru good and bad. I glad to have all of you here.

[Twitchy]

Dear Lord watch over eagle and his family as they need you now. Give them your love and strength to get through this tough time. Help them to understand that their family member is going home to you now, and will be at peace. That she will always be there to watch over them. Take all their sorrows and pain and replace it with understanding. I trust you Jesus for you are Gods Son, AMEN

AMEN...

Eagle, let me know if there is anything I can do for you... You and yours are in my prayers tonight...

[mitunnelrat]

I usually feel much like RedJohn at times like this, but I know how I feel about my own mom, and just the thought of some things makes my heart ache. If there's anything I can do, or we can do here as a site, please let us know.

[GunnerMax]

Hospice is a great program. My mom volunteered for hospice for many years, and it took care of a few older people I knew. I hope every day you spend with your mother is filled with love, laughter, and remembrance.

[izzyscout21]

I'm here, Eagle. Let me know if you need anything. Thoughts and prayers on the way.

[The Stig]

Wish there was something more we could do for you besides say "best wishes".

We're here if you need us.

[Sniper-T]

As everyone else has said, enjoy everyday you have, and stay strong.

My mom and I were very close, and there hasn't been a day in the last 11 years that I haven't thought of her.

[Patmark]

Hi Eagle, I realize that I am brand new here on this site and that you don't know me from Adam, YET. But as I read through your post it touched me very deeply. If the following words can bring any comfort to you at this time in your life then my journey through this day will be complete.

When I was 12 years old I received a phone call at approximately 2 AM. The voice on the other end of the line said that she was from Jackson Memorial Hospital and was this where Phyllis Jane ----- lived. I sensed right away that something was very wrong and so I asked this person what's wrong with my mother? all she would say is, is your father at home. My dad was home but unfortunately he was passed out cold. Well, since I couldn't tell this person that, I went to try to wake him. I finally managed, after several minutes, to wake him up and get him on the phone and this person said that we needed to come to the hospital right away. My dad was in no condition to drive and I didn't really know how to drive a stick, (I was only 12), but I managed to get us there. By the time we arrived my dad had sobered up enough to do what we needed to do to find out what was going on, it turned out that my mother had been killed in a car accident that night and they needed my father to Identify the body.

The reason that I am telling you all of this is so that you will be able to see how very lucky that you are to have had your mother in your life for such a long period of time. You see I never had a chance to learn the life's lessons that only our mothers can teach us. I was never able to please her or make her proud of me as I so very much wanted to. In turn she never had a chance to meet my wonderful wife, our children, and her grand children and they never got a chance to meet her, or so I thought. I was very angry for a very long time over this as I guess you can imagine, but after a lot of pain and a lot of self destruction I finally figured out one day that my mother has always been right here with me, in fact there are several incidents that have happened in my years on Earth in which their is absolutely no explanation for me to have lived through. You see Eagle I have learned that when our time here on Earth is over, our lives and energy, ( the very stuff that makes us us), continues on and we finally become free from the shackles of this physical existence. Once I came to understand this I was no longer sad for my mother and sad for myself because I knew that my mom was safe and happy. I also came to understand that she was never very far away even though her physical body no longer existed and that she knows the people that I mentioned earlier and those people know my mother through me.

So Eagle my friend I hope this post will help you through this difficult time and allow you to know the peace that I am quite sure that your mother will want you to know when it is her time to move on and go home.

Oh and Eagle God Bless you for allowing your mom her dignity and for providing the comfort that she will need to move on gracefully. I can only hope that our children will do the same for us when it is our time to move on.

PM :cool:

[Dropy]

A loved one's illness is never easy. Couple it with knowing everyday yoiu spend with her could be the last very soon and it is compounded. I know because i went thru a very similiar situation with my mother. My heart goes out to you my friend, to you and your family. It is my prayer that alll goes easy for you, your family and her.

May the lord find her in favor.

[eagle326]

Update:
They discharged my mother today and she arrived home to be with us and Hospice care. All meds. except one for pain as needed were stopped. They said she can eat whatever she wants at this stage so we got all of her favorite foods just in case.
She's resting peacefully right now and the Hospice nurse will be here soon to check on her and set up the plan.

I appreciate everybody's post and it truly is a source of strength at this time. I was very glad to be able to talk on the phone to Dropy today and gather his wisdom on this matter as we've both done this before and he had very good insight of the matter before me and my family. I am truly blessed to have you guys and gals around .

No amount of thanks is enough to you.

[Gunfixr]

Just seeing this now. Wishing you and yours all the best in these tough times.
While it's never easy, she will be on her way to a better place.
At least she will get to be with loved ones as she goes, and you will get to see her on her way to that better place, until you get to see her again.

[Katrina]

Eagle just saw thistoday
Hold tight to your memories. If there is anythingI can do, shoulder to cry/lean on let me know even though I'm probably miles away from you.my prayers are with you

[eagle326]

Hello everyone. Been tending to mom and trying to keep her stable and comfortable. She was doing good since the last post but quit eating about 4 days ago. She's now in end stage renal failure and beginning systolic heart failure.
The potassium from her kidneys isn't flushing out and is keeping the red blood cells from delivering oxygen to her. This causes twitching and erratic heart rates and breathing. Her face is starting to turn gray ; blank stare ; talking to who ever ; restlessness.

Her vitals are all over the place and she's now at the border of the other side. The wife and I are up thru out the night to make sure she's comfortable and with us till the time the train pulls into the station for her to board. When she spoke of wanting to leave I told her she had to wait till the train arrived at the platform and then she could board and be with her family and she kind of smiled and said okay. She's to the point that she could go very soon and any change and the Hospice nurse will be back out to stay around the clock until she passes.

Her best smiles came when I would imitate Dean Martin and sing her the first couple lines of Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime. Now she doesn't react to it anymore. But at least I got her to give me some of those sweet smiles for awhile anyway.
In my heart and reality I believe her time is very short and I just want for her to go peacefully into the night and be whole and happy again however that works.
Though my heart aches ; I'm over joyed at the same time that she's had a good life and that I was granted almost 62 years of love ; kindness and understanding from her no matter how stupid I was growing up. I'll finish up tonight by saying thanks for letting me be a part of your family and listening to my thoughts.

As Always:
George

[ladyhk13]

Our dear George, as I read your post my heart breaks for you and can't help but sit and cry for you and your family. Know that my arms are here wrapping around you and yours to give you comfort as I know the pain you must be going through right now. I lost my father exactly 6 months ago to the day and I still cry for him each night as I say my prayers and talk to him. Nothing can replace a parent especially one who has filled you with love and stood by you through both good and bad.
I know you must be strong for your family and how hard this time is right now and I won't tell you that it will get easier as time goes by because it would be a lie. It never gets easier...she was the first woman you fell in love with and there is no replacing her. I have already said my prayers for her safe and gentle passage when her time comes and for strength and comfort for you and your family. Know you are in my thoughts, heart and prayers. I wish there were something I could do to ease your pain. God bless.
Ladyhk13 and family

[eagle326]

Our dear George, as I read your post my heart breaks for you and can't help but sit and cry for you and your family. Know that my arms are here wrapping around you and yours to give you comfort as I know the pain you must be going through right now. I lost my father exactly 6 months ago to the day and I still cry for him each night as I say my prayers and talk to him. Nothing can replace a parent especially one who has filled you with love and stood by you through both good and bad.
I know you must be strong for your family and how hard this time is right now and I won't tell you that it will get easier as time goes by because it would be a lie. It never gets easier...she was the first woman you fell in love with and there is no replacing her. I have already said my prayers for her safe and gentle passage when her time comes and for strength and comfort for you and your family. Know you are in my thoughts, heart and prayers. I wish there were something I could do to ease your pain. God bless.
Ladyhk13 and family


Thanks Ladyhk13; Yes on one hand my heart breaks but on the other I'm happy as a lark that she'll go loved and peacefully. As the eldest son I'm obliged to certain duties and I wouldn't trade them for anything no matter how painful they can be at times.
When you shed tears let them be tears of joy if possible as she'll be in a better place. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. No it doesn't get any easier but we learn to live with it as we go thru life.

[bacpacker]

George There is not much I can add to what has been said already. Just know that our thoughts and prayers continue for you and your family. I know you mother would be very proud of how you are taking care of her and her needs during this time.
Please let us know of ANYTHING we can do to help out.

[Taz Baby]

George, I just want to let you know that you are a wonderful son to your mother and that she is in wonderful hands with you by her side. Even though she does not smile when you sing to her doesn’t mean that she can not hear you. So continue to sing, dance read and anything else that you and her shared together that always brought a smile to her lips. She knows you are there with her and she feels the love you have for her. I am reading a book now that a very dear friend of mine sent me the other day. It is called: Chicken Soup For The Soul, A Book Of Miracles. If you don’t have it I will send you a copy of it if you would like. I think it will help you now to read this and maybe you can read it to her. Just let me know. Never think that you are alone in this because SHTFREADY is here for you. We all will help you in anyway that we can, all you have to do is let us know how. Keep the faith up, do not have a heavy heart. Know that God is with you now as so are we

[eagle326]

Thanks Backpacker ; Will do.

[eagle326]

Thanks for the offer Taz. We have some of those books here. She's to the point now that we're just trying to keep her pain free and comfortable. Jeff the Hospice nurse just left and we're in agreement that she probably sees the train coming not too far down the tracks. So my wife and I are prepping her for her journey as best we can.
And I'll probably sing Dean Martin to her again just to let her know she's loved and me also.

[Katrina]

Please know that I am praying for you and concur with everyone else. My pop passed a year ago Christmas and I was able to be there singing a goofy song we all sang as kids when we were traveling. I know she will hear you and go on peacefully as Pop did.
Kathy