Monday February 6th Random Thought Thread

[Grumpy Old Man]

http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx288/2crgrunt/46288_10151190953163216_1584813967_n_zps09df45e4.j pg

http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd421/GrumpyOldMan53/funny-animal-captions-animal-capshunz-now-for-some-well-earned-relaxation.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd421/GrumpyOldMan53/funny-dog-pictures-stupid-magnitude.jpg

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http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd421/GrumpyOldMan53/Stupid.jpg

Just following the stupid theme!

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/374405_290691261039844_2007421193_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

http://www.makems.com/graphic/groovy-monday.gif

[bacpacker]

Thanks Taz, Today is the best Monday I've had in months. Groovy it was! :)

[Taz Baby]

I have been in the Woodstock era today for some reason. Been looking and saving psychedelic pics all day. I have this on my computer and at night it glows. This is mezmerising to look at for a long time.

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/c12.0.403.403/p403x403/541056_10151435889123496_1568842411_n.jpg

[bacpacker]

You do have a blacklight going? :)

[Taz Baby]

No black light but when I was younger i had a black light room with everything you can imagine in it, even the old lava lamps.Not to mention a fish tank with neons in it, :o

[izzyscout21]

I have been in the Woodstock era today for some reason. Been looking and saving psychedelic pics all day. I have this on my computer and at night it glows. This is mezmerising to look at for a long time.

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/c12.0.403.403/p403x403/541056_10151435889123496_1568842411_n.jpg

That's trippy, Taz.

[Sniper-T]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/c12.0.403.403/p403x403/541056_10151435889123496_1568842411_n.jpg

This is really cool. Seems to rotate if you stare at it!

Whatcha smokin' Taz?

[Taz Baby]

This is really cool. Seems to rotate if you stare at it!

Whatcha smokin' Taz?

Yes it moves when you stare at it long enough and no smokin here thats bad juju

Unless you count smokin Mullen from time time time, it's good for the respiratory system

[Sniper-T]

It happened every Friday evening, almost without fail,
when the sun resembled a giant orange and was starting to dip into the blue ocean.

Old Ed came strolling along the beach to his favorite pier.. Clutched in his bony hand was a bucket of shrimp.

Ed walks out to the end of the pier, where it seems he almost has the world to himself.
The glow of the sun is a golden bronze now.

Everybody's gone, except for a few joggers on the beach.

Standing out on the end of the pier, Ed is alone with his thoughts...and his bucket of shrimp.

Before long, however, he is no longer alone.

Up in the sky a thousand white dots come screeching and squawking,
winging their way toward that lanky frame standing there on the end of the pier.

Before long, dozens of seagulls have enveloped him, their wings fluttering and flapping wildly.
Ed stands there tossing shrimp to the hungry birds.

As he does, if you listen closely, you can hear him say with a smile, 'Thank you. Thank you.'

In a few short minutes the bucket is empty. But Ed doesn't leave.

He stands there lost in thought, as though transported to another time and place.

When he finally turns around and begins to walk back toward the beach, a few of the birds hop along the pier with him until he gets to the stairs, and then they, too, fly away. And old Ed quietly makes his way down to the end of the beach and on home.

If you were sitting there on the pier with your fishing line in the water,

Ed might seem like 'a funny old duck,' as my dad used to say.
Or, 'a guy who's a sandwich shy of a picnic,' as my kids might say.
To onlookers, he's just another old codger, lost in his own weird world, feeding the seagulls with a bucket full of shrimp.

To the onlooker, rituals can look either very strange or very empty.

They can seem altogether unimportant .... Maybe even a lot of nonsense.

Old folks often do strange things,
At least in the eyes of Boomers and Busters.

Most of them would probably write Old Ed off, down there in Florida .

That's too bad. They'd do well to know him better.

His full name: Eddie Rickenbacker.
He was a famous hero back in World War II.
On one of his flying missions across the Pacific, he and his seven-member crew went down.
Miraculously, all of the men survived, crawled out of their plane, and climbed into a life raft.

Captain Rickenbacker and his crew floated for days on the rough waters of the Pacific.

They fought the sun. They fought sharks. Most of all, they fought hunger.
By the eighth day their rations ran out. No food. No water.

They were hundreds of miles from land and no one knew where they were.

They needed a miracle.

That afternoon they had a simple devotional service and prayed for a miracle.
They tried to nap. Eddie leaned back and pulled his military cap over his nose.
Time dragged. All he could hear was the slap of the waves against the raft..

Suddenly, Eddie felt something land on the top of his cap.
It was a seagull!

Old Ed would later describe how he sat perfectly still, planning his next move.
With a flash of his hand and a squawk from the gull, he managed to grab it and wring its neck..

He tore the feathers off, and he and his starving crew made a meal –
a very slight meal for eight men - of it.

Then they used the intestines for bait..

With it, they caught fish, which gave them food and more bait......
and the cycle continued. With that simple survival technique,
they were able to endure the rigors of the sea until they were found and rescued (after 24 days at sea...).

Eddie Rickenbacker lived many years beyond that ordeal, but he never forgot the sacrifice of that first life-saving seagull..
And he never stopped saying, 'Thank you.'

That's why almost every Friday night he would walk to the end of the pier with a bucket full of shrimp and a heart full of gratitude

[Evolver]

Bravo!

[Evolver]

Lets hope that we can stop him before this happens.


http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EH8shBHPB8k/TtdZuyJQ95I/AAAAAAAADa4/fgEzhrH5N1o/s1600/Obama%2Bmy%2Bwork%2Bhere%2Bis%2Bdone.jpg

[Sniper-T]

looks like some 'artistic liberty' was taken in some of the details, but a good read nonetheless...

I put my carry-on in the
luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned
seat. It was going to be a long flight. 'I'm
glad I have a good book to read. Perhaps I will
get a short nap,' I thought.

Just before take-off,
a line of soldiers came down the aisle and
filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding
me. I decided to start a conversation.

'Where are you
headed?' I asked the soldier seated nearest to
me. 'Petawawa. We'll be there for two
weeks for special training, and then we're being
deployed to Afghanistan

After flying for about an hour, an announcement was
made that sack lunches were available for five
dollars. It would be several hours before we
reached the east, and I quickly
decided a lunch
would help pass the time...

As I reached for my wallet, I overheard a soldier ask his buddy if
he planned to buy lunch. 'No, that seems
like a lot of money for just a sack lunch.
Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks.
I'll wait till we get to base.'

His friend agreed.

I looked around at the
other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked
to the back of the plane and handed the flight
attendant a fifty dollar bill. 'Take a
lunch to all those soldiers.' She grabbed my
arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with
tears, she thanked me. 'My son was a soldier in
Iraq ; it's almost like you are doing it for him.'

Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the
soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and
asked, 'Which do you like best - beef or
chicken?' 'Chicken,' I replied,
wondering why she asked. She turned and went to
the front of plane, returning a minute later
with a dinner plate from first class.

'This is your thanks.'

After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane,
heading for the rest room.
A man stopped me. 'I saw what you did. I want to
be part of it. Here, take this.' He handed me
twenty-five dollars.

Soon after I returned
to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down
the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he
walked, I hoped he was not looking for me, but
noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my
side of the plane. When he got to my row he
stopped, smiled, held out his hand and said, 'I
want to shake your hand.' Quickly unfastening my
seatbelt I stood and took the
Captain's hand.
With a booming voice he said, 'I was a soldier
and I was a military pilot. Once, someone bought
me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never
forgot.' I was embarrassed when applause was
heard from all of the passengers.

Later I walked to the
front of the plane so I could stretch my legs. A
man who was seated about six rows in front of me
reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He
left another twenty-five dollars in my palm.

When we landed I
gathered my belongings and started to deplane.
Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man
who stopped me, put something in my shirt
pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a
word. Another twenty-five dollars!

Upon entering the
terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their
trip to the base.
I walked over to
them and handed them seventy-five dollars. 'It
will take you some time to reach the base.
It will be about time for a sandwich.
God Bless You.'
Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and
respect of their fellow travelers.

As I walked briskly to
my car, I whispered a prayer for their safe
return. These soldiers were giving their all for
our country. I could only give them a couple of
meals. It seemed so little...

A veteran is someone
who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank
check made payable to 'citizens of Canada '
for an amount of 'up to and
including my life.'

That is Honour, and
there are way too many people in this country
who no longer understand it.'

[TEOTWAWKI13]

A soldier got on a train headed home after 4 tours in Afghanistan. He was worn, tired and weary. He searched for a seat on the train and only found one that was being occupied by a french poodle. He politely asked the lady beside the dog "ma'am, I'm tired, may I have this seat?" The lady snarled and in her French accent stated "you Americans are so rude, can't you see my Fifi is sitting there?"

The soldier walked to the back of the train and found no seats, so he walked back to the front. Again he said, "ma'am I'm very tired, can I please have this seat?" The lady again scoffed "Not only are you Americans rude, you're arrogant too." With this the soldier reached down and grabbed the dog and tossed it out the window and sat down.

The lady was furious and screeched "Is no one going to stand up for my honor. This is a travesty." Finally an English gentleman spoke up, much to the lady's delight. "Sir, you Americans have a penchant for doing things in the wrong manner. You hold your fork with the wrong hand. You drive on the wrong side of the road. And now it seems, you've thrown the wrong bitch off this train."

[izzyscout21]

Who do I gotta shoot to get a freakin mohito around this joint?

[Sniper-T]

Head on over to the saloon... I'm muddling the mint as I type this...

[Sniper-T]

Not every flower can say love, but a rose can. not every plant survives a thirst, but a cactus can. not every retard can read, but look at you go, little buddy!! today, you should take a moment and send an encouraging message to a fucked up friend, just as I have done. I don't care if you lick windows, or screw farm animals. you hang in there cupcake, because you're fuckin special to me, and you're my friend. look at you smiling at your phone, you crayon eating motherfucker!!..

[mitunnelrat]

Saw this on Facebook today.
http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn165/mitunnelrat/523461_295828847184561_484960191_n.jpg

[Sniper-T]

If a Pizza had a radius 'Z' and a depth 'A'
Then, that pizza's volume can be defined as Pi*Z*Z*A

[Grumpy Old Man]

Little Mary asked her teacher during sex ed " Can my grandma who is 80 years old get pregnant?" "No she:, is too "old the teacher replied

"What about my mother who is 50 years old?" Mary asked

"No she is still too lod as she has gone through menpoause by now" the teacher said .

"Well what about me?" Mary queried.

"Oh no!!! you're way too young" exclaimed the teacher.

I the back of the room Johnny exclaimed " See, I told you we didn't have anything to worry about"!

[izzyscout21]

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who
said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign
exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up:
"Patrick Henry, 1775," he said.

"Very good! -- Who said, 'Government of the People, by the People, for the
People, shall not perish from the Earth'?"

Again, no response except from Little Akio: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863.."

"Excellent!" said the teacher continuing, "Let's try one a bit more
difficult -- Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what
you can do for your country'?"

Once again, Akio's was the only hand in the air and he said:
"John F. Kennedy, 1961."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed of
yourselves, Little Akio isn't from this country and he knows more about
our history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "F_ _ k the Japs."

"Who said that? -- I want to know right now!? she angrily demanded..

Little Akio put his hand up, "General MacArthur, 1945."


At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks, 'All right! -- Now who said that?"

Again, Little Akio says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? -- Suck this!"

Little Akio jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the
teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit! -- If you say
anything else -- I'll kill you!"

Little Akio frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to
the children testifying against him, 2004."

The teacher fainted. As the class gathered around the teacher on the
floor, someone said, "Oh shit, We're screwed!"

Little Akio said quietly, "The American people, November 6, 2012...

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A Marine dies in combat and wakes up to find he is in hell. He's really depressed as he stands in the processing line waiting to talk to an admittance counselor. He thinks to himself I know I lead a wild life but, Hell, I'm a Marine. We're expected to live wild lives. I wasn't that bad. I never thought it would come to this. "
Looking up he sees that it is his turn to be processed into hell. With fear and heavy heart, he walks up to the counselor.

Counselor: What's the problem, you look depressed?

Marine: Well, what do you think? I'm in hell.

Counselor: Hell's not so bad; we actually have a lot of fun. Do you like to drink?

Marine: Of course I do. I'm a Marine.

Counselor: Well then, you are going to love Mondays, On Mondays we drink up a storm. You can have whiskey, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you want and as much you want. We party all night long. You'll love Mondays. Do you smoke?

Marine: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Counselor: You are going to love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day. You get to smoke the finest cigars and best cigarettes available anywhere. And you smoke to your heart's desire without worrying about cancer because you are already dead! Is that great or what? You are going to love Tuesdays.
Do you like to fight?

Marine: Of course I do. I'm a Marine!

Counselor: You are going to love Wednesdays. That's Fighting Day. We challenge each other to fights to see who's the toughest in Hell. You don't have to worry about getting hurt or killed, because you're already dead. You are going to love Wednesdays. Do you gamble?

Marine: Show me a Marine who doesn't!

Counselor: You are going to love Thursdays, because we gamble all day and night. Black jack, craps, poker, slots, horse races, everything! You are going to love Thursdays. Are you gay?

Marine: Of course, not! I'm a Marine!

Counselor: Oh (grimaces), you're going to hate Fridays.

[Sniper-T]

http://i.imgur.com/NguJY.gif

[Grumpy Old Man]

http://i.imgur.com/NguJY.gif

I hate it when he pokes me like that!:D

[izzyscout21]

http://tacticaltshirts.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/fukitol-black2.jpg

http://tacticaltshirts.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Dont-Need-Sex-brown2.jpg

[Sniper-T]

If you please, all my American friends, substitute USA for Canada; and enjoy the read:

Lest we forget at this time of year...................







A Different Christmas Poem
The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.



The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So slumbered I, perhaps I started to dream.



The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.


A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Trooper, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts.
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."



"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died in Europe on a day in December,"
Then he sighed,
"That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red and the white .... A Canadian flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother.
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."


"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.


To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."


PLEASE,
Would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many people as you can?
Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our
Canadian service men and women for our being able to celebrate
these festivities.
Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe.
Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed
themselves for us.

[Sniper-T]

Please don't turn this into a gun discussion, but take it for the "tongue in cheek" rant that it is...

WE NEED TO REGULATE CARS THE WAY WE REGULATE GUNS Jan 09, 201312:39AM
Category: Politics Posted by: Michael Z. Williamson
I keep hearing people say they want to regulate guns the way we regulate cars. They don't really mean that, of course. What they mean is they want to make it acceptable to find more ways to intrude on the right to keep and bear arms.

I propose instead, we regulate cars the way we regulate guns. Let's start:

To buy or operate a standard car, one will have to be 18 years old. Under that age, adult supervision will be mandatory. This means the adult must be in the vehicle with the underage driver.

To buy a sports car, you will have to be 21. A "Sports car" will be defined as any combination of any two of the following: 2 doors instead of 4, spoked rims not requiring hubcaps, aerodynamic effects such as spoilers or air dams, a wheelbase under 100 inches, a manual transmission, a curb weight under 3000 lbs, fiberglass or other non-metal construction, or painted logos.

For every purchase, you will have to fill out a questionnaire confirming you're a US citizen, do not use drugs or abuse alcohol, have never had a conviction for alcohol related incidents or reckless driving. Lying on this form will be punishable by 10 years in prison and/or a $10,000 fine.

New cars will only be purchased from Federal Automobile Licensees who must provide fingerprints, proof of character, secure storage for all vehicles, and who must call the Federal Bureau of Motor Vehicles to verify your information before purchase. They may approve or decline or delay the sale. If they decline, you may appeal the decision in writing to a review board. If they delay, it becomes an approval automatically after 10 days. However, the dealer may decline to complete such a sale in case of later problems.

Additionally, the purchase of more than two cars in a given year will require signing an understanding that buying cars in order to resell them without a license is a crime. There is an 11% federal excise tax on all new vehicles, plus any state or local tax.

Federal Automobile Licensees must agree to submit to 24/7/365, unannounced, unscheduled searches of their entire homes, businesses and any relates properties and personal effects to be named later.

Then you will be eligible to take your drivers' license test to determine your eligibility to operate on the street. Rules will vary by state, with some states requiring proof of need to own a vehicle for business purposes, and up to 40 hours of professional education. Also, not all states will accept all licenses. You will need to keep track of this information. Additionally, speed limits will not be posted. It is your responsibility to research the driving laws in each area you wish to travel through. Some communities may not allow out of state vehicles, sports cars, or even any vehicles at all. Violation of these laws will result in confiscation and destruction of your vehicle by crushing.

To have a turbocharger, supercharger (External Engine Compression Devices) or a muffler will require an application to the Federal Bureau of Motor Vehicles. A $2000 tax stamp will be required for these High Performance Vehicles. Your request must also be signed by the local chief law enforcement officer, and you must provide fingerprints. If approved in 10-16 weeks, you will be responsible for keeping your High Performance Vehicle in secure storage, and request permission in writing to take it out of state. You will need to carry this documentation with you. There are 13 states that do not allow possession of High Performance Vehicles. Be sure you are aware of those laws before planning your trips. (But really, what do you need such a vehicle for anyway? Who really needs to drive that fast? You must willingly accept and adhere to the socially accepted idea that you are inherently evil for merely possessing such a fast, high powered automobile.)

Additionally, superchargers and turbochargers must be manufactured before June 1, 1986. They may be sold and refitted by a FAL who also has a Special Occupational Tax license authorizing him to work on these. New superchargers, however, are a violation of federal law, except for use by the police or military, or specific government contractors. Expect to pay $15-$30,000 each for these items. Mufflers will only cost from $250-$1000, plus the $2000 stamp. However, once the muffler is damaged, it must be disposed of by cutting it into three pieces. Failure to do this may result in your family going through the next decade only knowing you in a prison jumpsuit and all your bank accounts seized and never replenished.

Imported sports cars will be prohibited. You may purchase other items from foreign manufacturers, but your automobile is in a special class of prohibition due to its inherently evil and sinister nature. The frames may be imported, cut into three pieces, and reassembled with US made engines and suspensions, as long as 60% of the parts are American. Shortly, though, the Transmission Loophole will be closed. The purpose of allowing imports is for spare parts, not to build more destructive "race vehicles.” Transmissions will have to be US made.

Repairs may only be conducted by a licensed FAL, who will send a truck to retrieve your vehicle. It must be a flatbed type truck, winch/dolly trucks are not allowed, under 10/$10,000 penalty. You may work on your own vehicle, but any repair that exceeds emission or performance standards will be subject to federal criminal charges. And violation of this reasonable regulation could result in not only your imprisonment and the confiscation of your assets but imprisonment of any employee or family member who was insane enough to repair your “race car” for you.

Be aware that an existing HPV may have multiple HP Features. A new HPV will require a license for each feature you wish to add to it—one each for muffler or external engine compression device. And you must request and receive, in writing, permission from the federal, state and local governing authorities prior to making such modifications.

Converting a standard car to a sports car will require payment of a $2000 tax, even if no HP features are added. However, if an FAL/SOT does the conversion on a new frame before the vehicle leaves their premises, it will only be a $50 tax. You will need to carry this documentation in the glove box at all times, the mere failure of which alone can result in an arrest and possible conviction.

There is discussion of closing the Car Dealer Loophole, through which private individuals sell cars to friends without going through an FAL. It is important we have these background checks. Surveys show criminals prefer to buy unlicensed to get around their legal liabilities so they can commit crimes in stolen vehicles, which evidence has proven for many years to be true.

Some vehicle law convictions will result in loss of your driving privileges forever. This includes reckless operation, drunk driving, an incorrect bumper height or attachment, or the wrong type of exhaust. Collisions may also result in permanent loss of driving, if injury occurs and negligence is proven. In addition, any felony conviction of any kind--even tax evasion--will mean permanent loss of your driving privileges. In these cases, it will even be illegal to ride or sit in a friend's car.

There is also discussion of prohibiting brightly colored vehicles. Vehicles are transportation, not toys, and should not be marketed in a way that suggests they are intended for casual use. It is important that everyone be aware of the dangerous nature of cars.

In the future, we may have to consider large displacement engines (anything over 2.5 liters) and transmissions with more than three speeds as being High Performance Items to be added to the federal registry. There will be a window during which you can register your items for $2000 each, provided you meet the background check. Otherwise, you will have to immediately surrender them to an FAL/SOT to dispose of on your behalf. Operating an unlicensed HPV after this date will result in confiscation and destruction of the vehicle, and the 10/$10,000 punishment.

These laws and regulations are due to drunk drivers, reckless drivers and other criminals. The automobile community should be glad it is allowed to exist at all, given all the deaths and environmental damage caused by these vehicles.

The president said today that he strongly supports your right to own and drive basic, standard vehicles for farm use and carpooling. But he and many other people have made it clear that eventually – maybe this month – we need to cease all manufacturing of such high powered automobiles for the civilian market.

Eventually, we need to move away from the notion that owning and operating a vehicle is a right and entitlement, and limit it to people with a proven, bona fide professional need. There are plenty of trains and buses for normal people. This is how most civilized nations are moving and is not a violation of your right to travel.

©2013 by Michael Z. Williamson www.MichaelZWilliamson.com
Permission to share granted for non profit purposes as long as this notice is included

[Sniper-T]

http://imageshack.us/a/img171/8363/rememberu.jpg

[Sniper-T]

What if girls had apostrophes instead of periods? They'd probably be even more possessive and prone to contractions.

[4suchatimeasthis]

I think some girls have exclamation points, it's a period but with extra emphasis!

[DarkLight]

Why do car radios have an "AM" and "PM" indicator on the clock? Isn't that what the windshield is for?

[Sniper-T]

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with names of a musical instrument in a sentence often goes undetected.

[mitunnelrat]

Oh! You bastage! You got me that time. I had to look more than once, and my reading comprehension is excellent. There's several years worth of pride down the tuba!

[Sniper-T]

http://i1033.photobucket.com/albums/a413/papaclaude/study_zps06ab94a0.jpg

[Sniper-T]

I have a pornographic memory...

Go ahead, get naked! I'll remember you!

[Sniper-T]

I was diagnosed with antisocial behavior disorder, so I joined a support group. We never meet...

[Buddychrist]

Sniper this is some funny stuff man!

So my question today is why do they put Braille on drive through ATM's?

[Sniper-T]

...
So my question today is why do they put Braille on drive through ATM's?

I know you weren't looking for a real answer, but there actually is one, several, in fact...

ANSWER
It's cheaper to manufacture one kind of ATM that can be used in all situations than it is to manufacture a special one without braille for drive-through ATMs, and there is no downside to doing so (other than apparently making some people scratch their heads).

ANSWER
ATMs are manufactured for placement in many kinds of locations, some of which are accessed by visually impaired people: the lobbies of office buildings, for example. Because ATM manufacturers cannot predict with enough accuracy how many machines will need Braille pads and how many will not need them, they find that it is cost-effective to manufacture all of the machines with Braille pads. That procedure avoids problems of inventory, storage, retrieval, and shipment as well.

Answer
Federal regulations require it, even if blind people cannot clearly see in order to drive. There are brochures that are out there for them to use and memorize in order to go through with the process smoothly. But, the issue with that is, is that not every ATM is the same; so they must make sure that they are using the right brochure with the right ATM.

People say that the person that drove the blind person there in the first place can help out, but that isn't so because what if that driver is a cab driver. I'm sure that the blind person wouldn't want a stranger to know all of their personal information.

Answer from a legally blind person:
First off - there are excellent business that have ATM machines on both the driver's side AND the passenger side. It's true that not many business do that bus some do. So that is another reason for the braille to be on them.

How many of you have plugged in an ear phone to see what would happen?
While I am legally blind (20/400) - I do have enough sight to read the ATM but I tried it and discovered that the voice directions were very clear and specific on how to proceed in using the ATM. I, also, discovered that when the earphone gets plugged in - it disables the touch screen which I like because that way it's a security protected so no else can mess with it while you're using it. So this is another reason why there is braille on the ATM's.

I, also know of some one who actually went through an ATM the 'wrong way' so the legally blind or blind passenger could use the ATM so that is why there shouldn't be any 'one way' entries for ATM for places that do NOT have one on both sides. Just because theey are blind - doesn't mean they can't use the atm's from a vehicle and take advantage of the braille when necessary.
Braille is the language using which bank ATM machines can communicate with blind individuals. Since banks open accounts even for blind individuals and they too would like to make transactions like money withdrawal or deposit, Braille in the ATM machine helps them transact by themselves without having to depend on any other person who can see and punch in the details for them.

[Buddychrist]

Definitely food for thought!

[Sniper-T]

I dream of a better world...

A world where chickens can cross the road without anyone questioning their motives!

[Sniper-T]

Do magazines really need to add the word "Alive" to "Sexiest Woman" or am I just grossly underestimating the number of necrophiliacs in the world??

[Sniper-T]

If it is Wet, Sticky, and not yours... DON'T TOUCH IT!

[Buddychrist]

If it is Wet, Sticky, and not yours... DON'T TOUCH IT!

Darn that logic

[izzyscout21]

I farted.

[Buddychrist]

Did you know your second toe being longer than the first signifies royal bloodline

I must be the king of something with my pointertoe

[mitunnelrat]

I farted.

In this case, if its wet and sticky, still DON'T TOUCH IT! Even though it is yours!

The exception being if you have a toe like this, then you can use it to push that shit down a drain...
your second toe being longer than the first

[izzyscout21]

Did you know your second toe being longer than the first signifies royal bloodline



weren't a lot of royalty inbred?

[bacpacker]

Were and most likely still are.

[4suchatimeasthis]

My grandma used to say the same thing about the second toe, pretty much our whole family has them. Supposedly we are related to Norwegian/Swedish royalty. I seriously doubt it. My grandpa is kinda obsessive about that sort of stuff though, a few years ago we went over to Norway to do some family history searching. I guess if that's your thing......all I know is, longer second toes look better with toe rings. I went through a toe ring stage in college.

Totally unrelated, but hey, it's fantastic music, and what I am listening too while writing about long toes. I really need to get a life!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VKouBHarIo

[Katrina]

A married couple was in a terrible accident in which the man's face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.
So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.
However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his baby face!
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.
He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"
My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek." ♥

[Sniper-T]

I met a really nice new girl yesterday; smart, funny, beautiful... But I don't think it will work out.

She got really uncomfortable watching me masturbate.

Oh well, she shouldn't have sat beside me on the bus!

[mitunnelrat]

Saying "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart, so everyone takes a deep breath.

Lol. Just saw that on facebook.

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/62821_497209113661345_1483754055_n.png

[Taz Baby]

Creator, open our hearts
to peace and healing between all people.

Creator, open our hearts
to provide and protect for all children of the earth.

Creator, open our hearts
to respect for the earth, and all the gifts of the earth.

Creator, open our hearts
to end exclusion, violence, and fear among all.

Thank-you for the gifts of this day and every day

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/66845_359055150862489_199104490_n.jpg

[Sniper-T]

no manual needed for the sheeple.

1. put head down, walk
2. engage tunnel vision.
3. disregard all common sense!

[izzyscout21]

Duct tape, ky jelly, a blindfold, orange marmalade, 1block of c-4, and a duck......

you put it together....

[Sniper-T]

^ add in a gerbil, and it sounds like last weekend!

[eagle326]

Duct tape, ky jelly, a blindfold, orange marmalade, 1block of c-4, and a duck......

you put it together....

BOOM BOOM ; Izzy style. :p

[Stormfeather]

Duct tape, ky jelly, a blindfold, orange marmalade, 1block of c-4, and a duck......

you put it together....

^ add in a gerbil, and it sounds like last weekend!

I only have two things to say to this. . .

1 What the fuck were you guys doing?!?!?!

2 Why wasnt I invited? :confused:

[bacpacker]

Well when the Gerbil got mentioned, I figured Richard Gere must be involved somewhere.

[eagle326]

I only have two things to say to this. . .

1 What the fuck were you guys doing?!?!?!

2 Why wasnt I invited? :confused:


Remember back on another thread Stormy ; Izzy said he fell and hit his head.
But still ; Not to be invited? :confused:

[Stormfeather]

Yea yea, I get that hes slightly brain damaged from birth and it only got worse from there. . .but cmon now... How ya going to invite gerbils to the party and not invite me? Thats. . .thats. . well, its just damn wrong!

[eagle326]

He's going to use the temporary amnesia syndrome to get off the hook for not inviting you. Maybe he was afraid you were going to barbeque the gerbils ?

[izzyscout21]

He's going to use the temporary amnesia syndrome to get off the hook for not inviting you. Maybe he was afraid you were going to barbeque the gerbils ?

Which excuse would you prefer? Traumatic brain injury, PTSD, short term memory impairment, epilepsy, or stress induced by twin 4 year olds.....

[eagle326]

Which excuse would you prefer? Traumatic brain injury, PTSD, short term memory impairment, epilepsy, or stress induced by twin 4 year olds.....

If it were me I'd go for all of them Izzy. Keep them guessing . Just saying. ;)

[Sniper-T]

One friend said to the other " What is a dilemma anyway?"

His friend replied, "Well, there is nothing better than an example to demonstrate that.

Imagine you are laying on a very large bed with a beautiful naked young woman on one side, and a gay man on the other !!

Who are you going to turn your back on ?

[Taz Baby]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/249005_504486792940271_950352606_n.jpg

[izzyscout21]

http://www.atheist-meme.com/resources/cyanide%20and%20happiness%20the%20horse%20hospital .jpg.opt611x520o0,0s611x520.jpg

[Sniper-T]

^ My favourite comic strip. I can really relate to that level of twisted!

[Grumpy Old Man]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tSJ8SFQQGA

[izzyscout21]

http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx288/2crgrunt/424590_535998813128484_1825143088_n_zpsafba1eb6.jp g (http://s764.photobucket.com/user/2crgrunt/media/424590_535998813128484_1825143088_n_zpsafba1eb6.jp g.html)

[izzyscout21]

http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx288/2crgrunt/969343_457652064329841_1592496177_n_zps21576609.jp g (http://s764.photobucket.com/user/2crgrunt/media/969343_457652064329841_1592496177_n_zps21576609.jp g.html)

[MegaCPC]

This was cool.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xyRObipka4

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/1012397_659174974111460_1432173934_n.jpg

[izzyscout21]

To the person who last Christmas gave my children the toy drums, guitars, keyboard, and harmonicas:

As of today, I'm going to hurt you. Badly.
If I die before you, your ass is haunted. And im coming back with all the aforementioned battery powered migraine machines.

[MegaCPC]

What if we used to all be zombies and there was a human apocalypse?

[izzyscout21]

I never thought I would have to settle an argument between my 4 year olds quite like this.....

Theyre arguing about whether they are going to listen to Twisted Sister or Ozzy before bed.....

I wish all lifes problems would be this easy till i kick them out if the house in 14 more years.....

[Sniper-T]

^ that's awesome! but have you tried them with AC/DC? much better for bed-time, and wake time... and all times in between.

Kudo's for the dude on the tractor. prob saved his farm, his lively hood, and that of countless neighbours. Hope that turned out well!. Being a rural dweller, I can only hope that some of my neighbours would act in kind!


If Mare's eat Oats?
and Doe's eat oats?
and little lambs eat ivy?
why the fuck do they taste so good.

[izzyscout21]

^ that's awesome! but have you tried them with AC/DC? much better for bed-time, and wake time... and all times in between.

Yeah, they've been introduced to a lot of classic rock. Its a much better alternative to a lot of other tunes these days. Scarlett absolutely loves Metallica. The staff at Hard Rock get a kick out of a 4 year old singing "Enter Sandman" and knowing the lyrics. :)

[Katrina]

'cause kid'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you?

[Stormfeather]

27.5 percent drop in harvested deer this year on opening weekend. Dont I know it. Damn temp was -12 til almost noon.

[Sniper-T]

That's awesome hunting weather!

[izzyscout21]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eYSpIz2FjU

[izzyscout21]

This is me. RTFN

[Sniper-T]

see stormy's post in the joke thread?

[izzyscout21]

No. Thats what i just finished doing.

[Gunfixr]

Drinking ipecac for the last piece of pie?

Or just puking your guts up?

[Taz Baby]

https://scontent-b-atl.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/1461503_745633352132901_1159857909_n.jpg