Funny Side of Life

[Echo2]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/561084_333030780115058_981227960_n.jpg

[Sniper-T]

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 40


Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.



With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.


Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)


When you feel confident at this level, put a potato in each bag.

[Echo2]

http://popularairsoft.com/files/images/doublebarrel_ar15_silvershadow.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

http://cdn5.thefirearmsblog.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/af2011_a_1_double_barrel_pi_stol_arsenal_firearms-tfb.jpg

[izzyscout21]

http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx288/2crgrunt/c788eff0-d0c1-4f10-8e82-31fedc4e0d63.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

http://www.lolbrary.com/content/69/rock-paper-scissors-lizard-spock-21069.jpg

http://fashionablygeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/rock-paper-scissors-spock-lizard.jpg?cb5e28

[Echo2]

http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x319/pepperbelly1/Godpromisedmenobedientwives.jpg

[IDTANDY]

http://img28.imageshack.us/img28/9703/clearzr.jpg

[Sniper-T]

Time to Reevaluate United States involvement


Every day there are news reports about more deaths. Every night on TV there are photos of death and destruction.

Why are we still there?

We occupied this land, which we had to take by force, but it causes us nothing but trouble.

Why are we still there?

Many of our children go there and never come back.

Why are we still there?

Their government is unstable, and they have sloppy leadership.

Why are we still there?

Many of their people are uncivilized.

Why are we still there?

The place is subject to natural disasters, from which we are supposed to bail them out.

Why are we still there?

There are many hostile religious sects, which we do not understand.

Why are we still there?

Their folkways, foods, and fads are unfathomable to ordinary Americans.

Why are we still there?

We can't even secure the borders.

Why are we still there?

They are billions of dollars in debt and it will cost billions more to rebuild, which we can't afford.

Why are we still there?

It is becoming VERY clear






. . . WE MUST PULL OUT OF CALIFORNIA ! ! !

[Gearhead]

http://www.gunlawpress.com/images/GLB%202008%20front_.jpg

[Echo2]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/182130_404258846306860_1453005555_n.jpg

[Echo2]

http://i.imgur.com/rmKgV.png

[Echo2]

not funny.....but still funny....

http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/1203/that-ghandi-seven-dangers-to-human-virtue-demotivational-posters-1331768800.jpg

[piranha2]

Problem as I see it is its very true.

[Grumpy Old Man]

http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd421/GrumpyOldMan53/funny-animal-captions-animal-capshunz-now-for-some-well-earned-relaxation.jpg

[Grumpy Old Man]

http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx288/2crgrunt/c788eff0-d0c1-4f10-8e82-31fedc4e0d63.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd421/GrumpyOldMan53/6ovz3d176h.jpg

[bacpacker]

Grumpy I love the frog. That one gets printed and put on the wall in my office.

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/378300_10150968556484024_1482664230_n.jpg

[izzyscout21]

http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0805/wtf-demotivational-poster-1211081456.jpg

[Echo2]

http://4-riders.com/pics/Mix6/OWS-protester-pepper-sprayed-face.gif

[Echo2]

the second before this.....

http://www.lostrepublic.us/Graphics/Mayday%20wants%20more%20government.jpg

[Echo2]

http://i1142.photobucket.com/albums/n619/Ordo6502/bumper-270x135.gif

[Grumpy Old Man]

http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd421/GrumpyOldMan53/grammaknowsbest.jpg

[Sniper-T]

My wife left a note on the fridge ...



“It’s not working, I can’t take it anymore! Gone to stay at my parents."

I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was cold.

Not sure what she was talking about!

[IDTANDY]

The kids where off to daycamp so John tied a note to his Labs collar.
"Pole is up tent is spead to hell with breakfast come to bed."
The Lab comes back with another note.
"Take down tent put pole away monkey had a hemmorage no circus today"

[izzyscout21]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5w4dioxuw1rtwseso1_500.jpg

[Sniper-T]

^
What does it say on your Viagra?

[izzyscout21]

^
What does it say on your Viagra?
http://lawhaha.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/viagra1.jpg

[Sniper-T]

http://i1001.photobucket.com/albums/af140/des_blood/Emoticon/Babyhasafunnyshockedexpression.jpg

[Echo2]

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/drunk-baby-story.jpg

Oops....

[IDTANDY]

Me too,:rolleyes:

[Gearhead]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, guys?

Sent from my BRODEVICE using MobileBro2

[Echo2]

http://i632.photobucket.com/albums/uu41/jarmommy/obama.jpg

[bacpacker]

Make sure didn't help that horses ass at all.

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/391555_10151055407902436_1576462366_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/392450_225092560933048_1816024688_n.jpg

[Echo2]

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/558376_10151138439648854_1270084315_n.jpg

[Sniper-T]

I'm not sure if this is a joke or not...

http://i1061.photobucket.com/albums/t461/czeddie71/funny-awesome-random-skills-8.jpg

[Echo2]

http://www.twncommunications.net/Other/UnionGun.jpg

[Echo2]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/378341_360830963986327_1638058250_n.jpg

[Echo2]

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/547840_191308630999547_425943672_n.jpg?dl=1

[Echo2]

https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQFHtjAhuF3Hvq07qUeXyqIYQcSnQtiU ShyPXl8QyqtoUmzYI-TFg

[Echo2]

http://img130.imageshack.us/img130/2796/funny4k.jpg

[Taz Baby]

One for the guys

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/389081_4314682194428_1435292031_n.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

This is all the ammo I need

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/391280_4313725770518_1905318734_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/561232_4313699689866_573552558_n.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/376336_4295632478197_298217735_n.jpg

[Sniper-T]

One for the guys

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/389081_4314682194428_1435292031_n.jpg


We should make this a weekly, world wide event. Maybe supplement it with a hog roast!

[bacpacker]

I got my lawn chair set up and the beer chilling. I'm ready. :)

Add in a hog roast. It don't get much better

[Grumpy Old Man]

could I have a mint julip instead of beer please?

[Sniper-T]

could I have a mint julip instead of beer please?

I'm not sure how to make that... Do you have the recipe tucked into your panties?

[bacpacker]

You must have came from the Ky derby Grumpy?

[Grumpy Old Man]

I'm not sure how to make that... Do you have the recipe tucked into your panties?

Damn Yankee!!!! Simple syrup, 3 oz bourbon, muddled mint, spring water to taste! Enjoy!

- - - Updated - - -


You must have came from the Ky derby Grumpy?

The first weekend in May I'll be tuned in to Churchill Downs!

[bacpacker]

I lived in Louisville for 2 years in the mid 80's. The town about shuts down for that. But all the collage girls around the downs, FINE oh so FINE.

[Taz Baby]

Do you believe in Magic?

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/427148_363277193699564_605800546_n.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/252738_477668822260400_836351205_n.jpg

[Sniper-T]

I was visiting my grand kids the other day and asked them if I could borrow the newspaper. They told me "this is the 21st century.......we don't waste money on newspapers anymore . Here......you can borrow my iPod.

That god damn fly never knew what hit it !!!

[IDTANDY]

I was visiting my grand kids the other day and asked them if I could borrow the newspaper. They told me "this is the 21st century.......we don't waste money on newspapers anymore . Here......you can borrow my iPod.

That god damn fly never knew what hit it !!!

Too funny,:cool:

[Echo2]

http://i808.photobucket.com/albums/zz1/theal1980/AR15/demotivational-posters-hey-check-out-jimmys-bluetoo.jpg

[Taz Baby]

http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/filestorage/chick-fil-a-presidential-election-somewhat-topical-ecards-someecards.png?ref=nf

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/527741_257829327650551_1010875879_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/550864_257783327655151_844572249_n.jpg

[Echo2]

Half of these I just shook my head and laughed at.....


You Might Be A Survivalist If...


- You can’t put your groceries in the trunk of the car because its already jammed full with emergency kits, first aid supplies, and fully-stocked BOBs.

- You have emergency rations for your pets, and view your pets as potential emergency rations.

- You know the news three days before it hits the mass media.

- You have back-up plans for your back-up plans.

- You’re convinced you’ve been exposed to so many chem-trails, you consider it a form of birth control.

- You’ve ever repressed the urge to bleat “BAAAAAAAAAA” as your neighbor earnestly asks, “What war? Where?”

- You’ve ever bought antibiotics for human use through a vet, or grains for human consumption through a feed store.

- You’ve got more than one grain mill.

- You’ve ever wondered how you might filter the used water from your washing machine to make it fit for human consumption.

- You have a kerosene lamp in every room

- Your living room coffee table is actually a board with pretty cloth over it to disguise your food storage underneath.

- Your box springs are Rubber Maid containers filled with rice and beans.

- You save dryer lint to make fire starters.

- Your most commonly-used fuel additive is ‘Stabil’, instead of ‘Gumout’.

- You automatically choose the heavy duty flatbed cart upon entering Sam’s or Costco.

- If you know the shelf life of tuna fish, but don’t know how long you’ve had an open jar of mayo in the frig.

- Your basement walls are insulated with crates of toilet paper, from floor to ceiling, all the way around.

- While other people are saving money for new furniture, or vacations, you are desperately saving to get solar panels put on your house.

- You were excited beyond all reason when they came out with cheddar cheese in a can.

- You’ve ever served MREs at a dinner party.

- You can engage in a spirited debate on chemical vs. sawdust toilets for hours on end.

- You’ve ever considered digging an escape tunnel from your basement to the nearest stand of trees.

- You know how to use a vacuum cleaner in reverse to filter air in your designated bio-chem attack safe room.

- You’ve ever considered buying an above-ground pool for water storage purposes.

- You know what things like ‘TSHTF’, ‘BOB’ and ‘TEOTWAWKI’ mean.

- You have different grades of BOB’s. And restock them twice a year.

- You know the names, family histories, locations, and degree of readiness of over a thousand fellow doomers on the net.... but you’ve never met your neighbors.

- The best radio in the house is a wind-up.

- You have better items in storage than you use everyday.

- When the SHTF, you would eat better than you eat now.

- Your significant other gave you a sleeping bag rated -15 degrees for Christmas.... and you were moved beyond words.

- You’ve sewn a secret mini-BOBs into the bottom of your children’s school backpacks.

- Local food pantries have come to depend on donations from your larder when you rotate stock in the spring and fall.

- You’re still using up your Y2K supplies.

- You have enough army surplus equipment to open a store.

- The local army surplus store owner knows you by your first name.

- You fill up when your gas tank is 3/4 full.

- You call Rubber Maid for wholesale prices.

- You have several cases of baby wipes and your kids are all grown.

- Bert from ‘Tremors’ is your favorite movie character.

- You carry a pocket survival kit, a sturdy folding knife, a SureFire flashlight and a small concealed handgun on you to church every Sunday.

- You start panicking when you are down to 50 rolls of toilet paper.

- You keep a small notebook to write down any edible plants you happen to see along the road.

- You shop yard sales, store sales, and markdown racks for barter goods for ATSHTF.

- You own a hand-operated clothes washer and a non-electric carpet sweeper.

- You have at least two of every size of Dutch oven (the ones with the legs on the bottom), and 20 bags of charcoal, although you have a gas grill.

- You have rain barrels at each corner of your house, although you have a city water hookup, and a Big Berkey to purify the water.

- You have sapphire lights, survival whistle, and a Swiss Army knife on every family member’s keychain.

- The people in line at Costco’s ask you if you run a store or restaraunt.

- You require a shovel to rotate all your preps properly.

- You no longer go the the doctor’s because you can either fix it yourself, make it at home, or know and understand the physicians desk reference better than he does, and can get the goods at the vets or pet store for MUCH less moolah anyway.

- You know that a ‘GPS’ has nothing to do with the economy.

- You track your preps on a computer spreadsheet for easy reordering, but have hardcopies in a 3-ring binder ‘just in case’.

- You’ve thought about where the hordes can be stopped before entering town.

- You start evaluating people according to ‘skill sets’.

- You view the nearest conservation area as a potential grocery store if TSHTF.

- You know *all* the ways out the building where you work.

- You have enough pasta stockpiled in your basement to carbo-load all the runners in the New York marathon.

- You know that you have 36 gallons of extra drinking water in the hot water tank and your 2 toilet tanks.

- You know which bugs are edible.

- You have a handpump on your well.

- You have #10 cans of ‘stuff’ that the labels fell off of, but you won’t throw it out or open it because it ‘may be needed later’, even though you haven’t a clue as to the contents.

- You know where the best defensive positions and lines of fire are on your property.

- You’ve made a range card for your neighborhood.

- Your toenail clipper is a K-BAR.

- The Ranger Handbook is your favorite ‘self help’ book.

- You’ve numbered the deer romping in the yard by their order of consumption.

- You must move 50 cases of food for the plumber to get to that leaky pipe, but you have your own hand truck in the basement to do it.

- You own more pairs of hiking boots than casual and dress shoes combined.

- You have more 55gal blue water drums than family members.

- Your UPS system has more than 6 Deep cycle batteries.

- You have a backup generator for your backup generator, which is a backup for your solar system.

- You go to McDonalds and ask for one order of fries with 25 packs of ketchup and mustard.

- You have ever given SPAM as a serious gift.

- You’ve had your eye out for a good deal for a stainless steel handgun to conceal in the bottom of the magazine rack next to the toliet.

- You are single male over 40, but you still have an emergency childbirth kit, just in case you have to deal with that possibility.

- You have two water heaters installed in your basement, but one is a dummy that’s been converted to hideaway safe.

- You’ve made bugout cargo packs for your dogs.

- You have a walking stick with all sorts of gadgets hidden inside.

- Your koi pond is stocked with catfish.

- As a stand-in scoutmaster, you taught your son’s troop to set mantraps and punji pits, and haven’t been asked to stand in since.

- You’re on your fifth vaccum sealer, but you keep at least one of the worn out ones because you can still seal up plastic bags with it.

- You haven’t bought dried fruit in years, but you buy fresh bananas, apples, peaches and pears by the case and have three dehydrators.

- Your UPS man hates you because of all the cases of ammo he’s had to lug from his truck to your front door.

- You have duplicates of all your electronics gear, solar panels and generator parts in your EMP-shielded fallout shelter.

- You have set aside space for your live chickens in the fallout shelter.

- When the power goes out in your neighborhood, all the neighbor’s kids come over to your place to watch TV on generator power.

- You must open the door to your pantry *very* carefully for fear of a canned goods avalanche.

- You have a ‘Volcano’, you know you can cook anything, and you cast evil glances at your neighbor’s annoying, yappy poodle, muttering “your day will come, hotdog” under your breath.

- You’ve learned to knap flint, make twine from plant fibers for snares and use an atlatl, because you fear that all of your preps and hard work will be confiscated by FEMA troops or destroyed by earthquakes, tsunamis, nuclear blasts, ravening hordes of feral people or reptiloids from ‘Planet X’ ATSHTF. *

[Echo2]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Uun2N9CKL1s

[Grumpy Old Man]

Echo, you nailed me on a lot those on the list, but you really got me with the baby wipes!! I prefer cottonelle, btw!

[Echo2]

You have to like star trek to get this.....

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/blue-stripe-life-4.php

[bacpacker]

Echo that is just wrong. But probably true. :)

[Echo2]

dumb ass....

http://i.imgur.com/QHgQw.gif

[bacpacker]

YEP

[Echo2]

http://i47.tinypic.com/207x92p.jpg

[Grumpy Old Man]

2012 Democrat National Convention Schedule -- Charlotte , N.C.

4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony – sponsored by CNN

4:05 PM – Singing of "God Damn America " led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright

4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Karl Marx

4:15 PM – Ceremonial 'I hate America ' led by Michelle Obama

4:30 PM – Tips on “How to keep your man trustworthy & true to you while you travel the world”– Hillary Clinton

4:45 PM – Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson seminar “How to have a successful career without having a job or a church.”

5:00 PM –“Great Vacations I’ve Taken on the Taxpayer’s Dime Travel Log”- Michelle Obama

5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite

5:40 PM - Anthony Weiner sends a photo of his penis via I-phone and the image is put on a big screen TV monitor for all to see

5:57 PM – Tribute to All 57 States – Nancy Pelosi

7:00 PM – Sen. Harry Reid - 90-minute speech expressing the Democrat’s appreciation of the Occupy Wall Street movement, and George Soros for sparing no expense, for all that they have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment and to boost the economy.

8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons

9:00 PM –“Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you” Tutorial – sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times

9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO – Michael Moore

9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar - Charlie Rangle

10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible readers

10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ , & Afghanistan

11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium /'Tire Gauge Demonstration'/'You too can get rich with Green Investment bankruptcies'

11:15 PM – Free Gov. Blagoyovich rally

11:30 PM – Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony and Latin Grammy Awards

11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding

12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris “He sends a thrill up my leg” Matthews

12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination as Islamic Savior, the 2nd Coming of The Prophet Mohammed

12:05 AM – Satan's Choir Sings

3:00 AM – Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/552765_166704426791537_782334662_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/405315_448308611858174_628816604_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/182134_451299064892462_602282010_n.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/312946_271647859524251_2080858498_n.jpg

[Sniper-T]

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c87/hpdoubletap/preppers.jpg

[Brownwater Riverrat 13]

Great, now she has another Idea......................"it saves closet space", she says................and there was much rejoicing,........yeah. Thanx Taz.


Be safe.................the night is your friend.

[Sniper-T]

Not actually a joke... but laughable all the same!

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20000176-504083.html

[Grumpy Old Man]

A man bought a lie detecting robot that would slap a person it caught telling a lie.

That night at dinner, the man asked his son "What were you doing after school today?" The son replied "homework." And the robot slapped him. The father asked again, "what were you really doing?", to which the son replied "OK I was playing a video game" when the robot slapped him again. Finally the son confessed, "OK, OK! I was watching porn."

The father yelled " At your age I didn't know what porn was!" Then the robot the robot slapped him!

His wife was chuckling when she said "You sure are your father's son!" when the robot slapped her!

The End

P.S. Robot for sale cheap!

[Sniper-T]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-Fd4Eo8q8g&feature=player_embedded

[Sniper-T]

An Aussie Story A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but
halfway through the semester he foolishly has squandered all of his
money.

He calls home. 'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education
is developing.. They actually have a program here in Brisbane that will
teach our dog Ol' Blue how to talk.'

'That's amazing!' his Dad says. 'How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?'

'Just send him down here with $2,000,' the young jackaroo says, 'I'll
get him in the course.'

So .... his father sends the dog and $2,000.

About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. 'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know..

'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm... but you just won't believe
this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to
teach the animals how to read.'

'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in
that program?'

'Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class.'

The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem.

At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither
talk nor read. So he shoots the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.
'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read
something!'

'Dad,' the boy says, 'I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just
before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked
back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal. Then he suddenly
turned to me and asked, "So, is your Daddy still bonking that little
redhead barmaid at the pub?''

The father groans and whispers, 'I hope you shot that bastard before
he talks to your Mother!'

'I sure did, Dad!'

'That's my boy!'

[Grumpy Old Man]

An elderly man who lived on a dirt road close to a lake was sitting on his porch one Saturday when he see he sees a boy about 14 years old walking down the road towards the lake dragging a roll of chicken wire.

So the old man shouts at the boy "hey son, where ya goin with all that chicken wire" the boy hollers back "goin huntin". "Huntin fer what" replies the old man...."chickens, what else" the kid says. "Boy there aint no wild chickens out there" says the old man..."Whatever old man" says the kid.

A few hours later the man sees the kid walking back the other way with about 25 chickens all wrapped up in the chicken wire dragging it behind him. Well ill be damned thought the old man.

About a week later the man sees the same kid walking down the road carrying a box of something. "whatcha got in the box son" says the old man. "Duct tape" the boy says. "Whatcha gonna do with all that duct tape" ask's the old man. "gonna get me some ducks, what else" the kid says. "boy you need you a shotgun for ducks" The boy replies "whatever old man," and walks on down towards the lake.

Sure enough, about dusk here comes the kid walking back, has about 20 ducks wrapped up in duct tape, dragging em home. Well ill be damn, the old man thinks again.

Like clockwork about a week later here comes the kid again, this time carrying
a stick over his shoulder, it has some puffy things on it. The old man shouts out "whatcha got there". "p*ssy willow says the kid".....to that the old man replies, "Well hold on, lemme get my hat"!

[Echo2]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt2MIB8oCK0&feature=player_embedded#!

[Grumpy Old Man]

^^^^^^^ That is wrong on so many levels! I love it! May the Farce be with you.

[Sniper-T]

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors
and lawyers.

One evening, they chatted after having dinner together.

They discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able to give their elderly
mother who moved to Florida .

The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, "And I had a large theater built in the house."

The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know
she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this
preacher who told me about a parrot who could recite the entire Bible. It took
ten preachers almost 8 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute
$50,000 a year for five years to the church, but it was worth it.
Mama only has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed. After the celebration Mama sent out
her "Thank You" notes.

She wrote: Milton , the house you built is so huge that I live in only one
room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound and it can
hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing,
and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the
same."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries
delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give
a little thought to your gift. That chicken was delicious. Thank you so much."

Love, Mama

[Echo2]

http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m133/orion2527/b2165547f8dc325c51201cfd5bd0e89b.jpg

[Sniper-T]

A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife in bed with another man.
"Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world."
"It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with your wife?"
The fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd break his cane and kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass."

[Sniper-T]

http://www.nobodygoeshere.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/so-happy-knives.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

http://media.veryfunnypics.eu/2012/08/funny-picture-i-think-i-might-stay-home-tonight-liver-and-wallet-likes-this-555x515.jpg

[Echo2]

http://img.ifcdn.com/images/6bb768beeb2cf9d2c85d61d2fcaea99b16d09d2a_1.jpg

[Sniper-T]

http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s298/found_fish/CGN/163373_10150973921156014_669776256_n.jpg

[bacpacker]

Canada, EH!

I think I pronounced that right. :)

[Echo2]

http://imgace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/monopoly-money.jpg

[Sniper-T]

http://media.fukung.net/images/203/svabben.jpg

[Echo2]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/293197_502585216435492_304575088_n.jpg

[bacpacker]

Echo, my wife failed to see the humor in that. I thought it was funnnnnnny!

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/538566_10151125044214337_1992979141_n.jpg

[ladyhk13]

Bp I have to agree with your wife. I was going to say something but just couldn't get the right words to come out.

[Sniper-T]

I gotta agree with BP. rofl

[eagle326]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/293197_502585216435492_304575088_n.jpg

It's just good old man humor . LOL Love it. :p

[Grumpy Old Man]

http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd421/GrumpyOldMan53/liberals.jpg

For LadyHK

http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd421/GrumpyOldMan53/doom-its-coming.jpg

http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd421/GrumpyOldMan53/kids.jpg

[izzyscout21]

http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx288/2crgrunt/random%20thread/308980_10150948466316403_1792887851_n.jpg
http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx288/2crgrunt/random%20thread/484511_471490422869849_1508221373_n.jpg

[bacpacker]

http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx288/2crgrunt/random%20thread/308980_10150948466316403_1792887851_n.jpg
http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx288/2crgrunt/random%20thread/484511_471490422869849_1508221373_n.jpg


I always wondered how they did that.

[Echo2]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/582766_412134135499498_2141728958_n.jpg

[bacpacker]

Echo I nominate that post for "post of the year". That is one more reason to love Larry.

[Sniper-T]

Two guys are playing golf. The women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up.

So one man says to his friend, "I'm gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through."

He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his friend asks what happened.

He replies, "One of those women is my wife, and the other is my mistress. Why don't you go talk to them?"

So the second man starts to walk over. He gets halfway there and turns around.

When he gets back, his friend asks, "Now what happened?"

To this he replies, "Small world."

[bacpacker]

Whoops!

[ladyhk13]

Guess that round got interesting too.

[Echo2]

http://media.reason.com/mc/_external/2012_08/2ce8ea2ec822309902e2ba2b09e54b6a.jpg

[Sniper-T]

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5200/7110091157_a265d97baf_b.jpg

[Echo2]

Shouldn't that be Obos head on it?

Why does he look western no Asian?

[Sniper-T]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iWchLk2dgnM/UEAlSOqhctI/AAAAAAAANvQ/XPE04kBdvCE/s1600/35.jpg

- - - Updated - - -


Shouldn't that be Obos head on it?

Why does he look western no Asian?

from another site:

No, it's funny because it's a real comic, haha! Here's a post from another forum:

I originally planned on launching Captain China in both English & Chinese language simultaneously but Amazon gave me some trouble accepting it due to the fact the Kindle cannot display Chinese text. We just resolved the problem by combining it with the English version and it is now available for download in the same Kindle file. The amazon listing is also updated with 6 pages of preview for both languages.

And here is the Chinese Simplified language cover!

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7130/7126611145_b5b6586d80_b.jpg


The Chinese version is presented after the English version. Once again for those who do not own a Kindle or any other digital readers, you may download either "Kindle Reading App" or "MobiPocket Reader" for FREE to view the book after purchase from Amazon.

Captain China volume 1 - Dual Language Purchase Link:
http://www.amazon.co.../dp/B007X0G3H4/


Kindle Reading App
http://www.amazon.co...ocId=1000493771

MobiPocket Reader
http://www.mobipocke...asp?Language=EN

[Echo2]

I have a new respect for Alton Brown....

http://www.ar15.com/media/viewFile.html?i=42328

[4suchatimeasthis]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/c38.0.403.403/p403x403/376584_410813692314503_935454_n.jpg

[4suchatimeasthis]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7aoccreYU1r3jsrko1_500.jpg

[Echo2]

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=01d_1338025261

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=01d_1338025261

[Echo2]

https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/29/nyxzWhMpn0-7fMtD82sCnA2.gif

[Taz Baby]

"I'm too sexy for my dress."



http://memberfiles.freewebs.com/52/07/62950752/photos/Tinkerbells-Fashion-Show/DSC07121.JPG

[izzyscout21]

http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx288/2crgrunt/random%20thread/533077_442192519158629_1264087025_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

dagnabbit the picture didn,t come up. Will try again tomorrow when I go into town for internet.

[Sniper-T]

On August 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge .
So they stopped.



George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"

She says, "I'm going to commit suicide."

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.

After they finished, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether “she” jumped or was pushed.

[Sniper-T]

http://www.emmitsburg.net/humor/pictures/2001/To_the_Taliban.jpg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/577000_495889623772210_603831701_n.jpg

[Echo2]

http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/small-victories-0.jpeg?w=500

[Sniper-T]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/527907_345872548836234_744408206_n.jpg

[Echo2]

A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday "I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing drugs."

I said "Okay, but don't go in that field over there".

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and shoved it in my face. "See this fucking badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear?.... do you understand?!!"

I nodded politely, apologized, and went about my chores. A short time later, I heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by my big old mean bull. With every step the bull was gaining ground on the
officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.

I threw down my tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of my lungs...

"Your badge, show him your fucking BADGE!!"

[Sniper-T]

^
Ain't karma grand!

lol

[bacpacker]

I think we need a love button for that one Echo.

[4suchatimeasthis]

True story: Weekend before last my husband and I and my 14 yr old stepson were burning some overgrown brush in the horse pasture, in attempt to preserve as much good grazing area as possible. Because it was slightly damp out, and the weeds were green, it was pretty smokey. Afterwards, during a lull in the conversation at the dinner table, my 3 yr old daughter says "Mommy and Daddy and Zach were smoking the weed outside!". My poor husband almost choked. He is really the most straight-laced, conservative, law-abiding, good-guy type person you have ever met. We were grateful she didn't repeat that to her Sunday school teacher....or my ex-husband, lol.

[Sniper-T]

Out of the mouths of Babe's.

Could have been a little explaining to do to the CFS

[Echo2]

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f149/davenjai/296877_464459446920965_1322467342_n.jpg

[Sniper-T]

https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/7/wy0rygU6KU-kXdAvnNLoXQ2.jpg

[bacpacker]

Damn I knew Wendy! Can't believe she would do that.

Your a sick puppy T.

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/418884_362369710511482_463544011_n.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/564355_360307607384359_116146682_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/488365_416613238398870_1505254837_n.jpg

[Sniper-T]

http://danieldickey.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/her_job.jpg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/309239_280888122026926_260978043_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/163/9/9/Funny_Sayings_2_by_GoddessofHockey.jpg

[Taz Baby]

This is taking it 1 step above having your butt in a sling


http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LHJOdsm_xoA/Tdqv9MTqIYI/AAAAAAAAANM/oCfzQvLQ2cM/s1600/funny+animals+with+funny+sayings+1.jpg

[4suchatimeasthis]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/556630_451778121499764_584158529_n.jpg

This is totally me when it comes to following someone's verbal driving directions....I can't remember more than one turn in advance, my brain goes to mush.

[ladyhk13]

This is taking it 1 step above having your butt in a sling


http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LHJOdsm_xoA/Tdqv9MTqIYI/AAAAAAAAANM/oCfzQvLQ2cM/s1600/funny+animals+with+funny+sayings+1.jpg

"But we ALL bundle.....Puppy"

[Sniper-T]

This is totally me when it comes to following someone's verbal driving directions....I can't remember more than one turn in advance, my brain goes to mush.

It's easy 4such... you just need to visualize it. here try these simple instructions to my place...

Head East out of town, and hang a left at the 4th gravel road (not counting the one that goes to Bob Jenkins old place) Follow that until you see the corn field, which might be alphalfa this year, or maybe Sunflowers. Hang a right and follow that past where Jown Andersons barn used to be (They moved the whole thing in 1952) then hang a right at Engleson's old homestead. Follow that for 7 or 11 minutes, depending on how fast you're going, Hang a right, a left, two more rights, and take the last driveway on the left (Across from the Oak tree that Little Jamie Wiggums fell out of in 1985)

See ya soon!
;)

[4suchatimeasthis]

Ha-ha Sniper, we will be right over...lol.

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/549714_483962848281007_841052771_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/293039_318817474882942_1657583801_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

You Might Be a Prepper If…


If you open your linen closet and bags of beans fall off the shelf and hit you on the head, you might be a prepper.
If you have 46,843 Band-aids in plain, fabric, latex-free, extra large, Toy Story, Scooby-Doo, and Dora themes, you might be a prepper.
If you own 2 dozen cloth diapers… and have no children, you might be a prepper.
If you have enough vitamins stocked to nutritionally supplement your entire community for a year, you might be a prepper.
If you always keep a new set of shoelaces handy in case you have to tie off an umbilical cord, you might be a prepper.
If your home library contains more volumes about survival-related topics than your local public library, you might be a prepper.
If you carry more food and medicine in the trunk of your car than most convenience stores even stock, you might be a prepper.
If you own enough buckets to form your own neighborhood bucket brigade, you might be a prepper.
If you always have, on your person, at least 2 ways to make fire, you might be a prepper.
If your purse holds a guaranteed shot at what’s behind curtain # 3 on Let’s Make a Deal, you might be a prepper.
If you stock tampons and feminine napkins and everyone in the house is a senior citizen, you might be a prepper.
If you buy ammo for guns you don’t have, you might be a prepper.
If your family owns more totes and backpacks than the local big box store…you might be a prepper…
If you drive past a pond choked with cattails and your mind challenges itself on how many uses for cattails it can come up with.
You hate to weed whack all that salad out in the yard!
Every tin can looks like a future hobo stove to you!
One in a thousand people might know what esbit is, and you are one of them.
You notice you no longer say binder twine…you now call it cordage, and you’d secretly love to market it as some kind of macrame survival jewelry.

[Echo2]

LANGUAGE WARNING....But this is the funniest thing I've seen in the last year....

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/308054/

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/546044_267357446715466_1397029076_n.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/408945_267357576715453_796931967_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/402290_417006555014894_543943622_n.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/523142_416107561771460_1712334588_n.jpg

[Echo2]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=bQu2SVFF-cU#!

[Echo2]

http://i.imgur.com/nGBJU.jpg

[Echo2]

Closest call ever.....EVER.....how thick do you think a beret is?

http://i.imgur.com/rTMV4.gif

- - - Updated - - -

or this....

http://i.imgur.com/00deU.gif

[Echo2]

Only the link.....if they were offended before....this will set them off....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1pHR1rM2tw&feature=youtu.be

[Echo2]

Paradoxical Quote of The Day From Ben Stein:

"Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove they
are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen."
Now add this, "Many of those who refuse, or are unable, to prove they are
citizens will receive free insurance paid for by those who are forced to buy
insurance because they are citizens."

[Sniper-T]

“We’re so self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.” And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. Save the planet, we don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. I’m tired of this shit. I’m tired of f-ing Earth Day. I’m tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is that there aren’t enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world safe for Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don’t give a shit about the planet. Not in the abstract they don’t. You know what they’re interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They’re worried that some day in the future they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn’t impress me.

The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles … hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worldwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages … And we think some plastic bags and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet isn’t going anywhere. WE are!

We’re going away. Pack your shit, folks. We’re going away. And we won’t leave much of a trace, either. Maybe a little Styrofoam … The planet’ll be here and we’ll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet’ll shake us off like a bad case of fleas.

The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, ’cause that’s what it does. It’s a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed. And if it’s true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn’t share our prejudice toward plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn’t know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, “Why are we here?”

Plastic… asshole.”
― George Carlin

[Echo2]

http://uberhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/resized_F6mGA2.jpg

[Evolver]

LANGUAGE WARNING....But this is the funniest thing I've seen in the last year....

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/308054/

That deserves a Friday Cheer!!!

[Grumpy Old Man]

http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd421/GrumpyOldMan53/5124a317-6dae-4c26-91a9-2ead3b376dfd.jpg

http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd421/GrumpyOldMan53/5305b9.gif

[Evolver]

http://img8.joyreactor.com/pics/post/demotivation-posters-auto-314488.jpeg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/421292_385942268145580_1717159990_n.jpg

[4suchatimeasthis]

^^^ That tombstone could say "taken from us by the BABY" too.....*yawn*

[msomnipotent]

Or the new cat. She is still on dairy farmer time and tries to milk me at 5am.

[Taz Baby]

Sounds like a good reason to get a goat, take advantage of the opportunity.

[Taz Baby]

Is this what what the world is coming to?
It's a 1937 manure spreader

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/406095_258106317637546_771410337_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

SHTF entertainment? I hope it doesn't resort to this.
Beauty Pageant for chickens


https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/541927_258448570936654_1944018861_n.jpg

[Sniper-T]

^^^ That tombstone could say "taken from us by the BABY" too.....*yawn*


A baby is nothing but an organic alarm clock, set on Random!

[Echo2]

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/393282_444135395624788_4088359_n.jpg

[Sniper-T]

This guy was deer hunting in North Carolina. He shoots a deer, and as he is dragging it back to his truck, he gets stopped by this redneck Game Warden who asks to see his hunting license. The hunter shows him the license, and is about to leave when the Game Warden says "Not so fast, Boy. I need to inspect the deer."
The Game Warden then reaches down, sticks his finger up the deer's butt, pulls it out then sniffs his finger. The Game Warden gets angry then says "Wait a minute Boy! This here ain't no North Carolina deer; this here is a Virginia deer! You need to have a Virginia Hunting License to hunt this deer. You got a Virginia Hunting License on you Boy?"
Well, it just so happens that the guy had been hunting in Virginia the week before. He goes back into his wallet hand pulls out a Virginia Hunting License.
The Game Warden looks at the valid license and disappointingly says, "Well.... OK, I guess I'll have to let you go. I really do enjoy writing up Boys like you who hunt deer without a license, but you look like you got everything in order. So go on; get out of here."
The following week, the guy is hunting again. He shoots another deer and as he is dragging it back to his truck, he gets stopped by the same Game Warden who says "Just a minute Boy. I need to inspect the deer."
He reaches down, sticks his finger up the deer's butt, pulls it out, sniffs his finger and says "Boy! This here is a South Carolina deer! You got a South Carolina Hunting License?"
The Hunter, somewhat surprised, said that he had one in the truck. He goes and gets it out of the glove box, shows it to the Game Warden, who again has to let him go.
So this goes on for the next three weeks. Each week the hunter shoots a deer; one from Georgia, Tennessee, and West Virginia. Each time the Game Warden stops to do the Finger Test, and each time the hunter is able to produce the correct license. Finally, after the West Virginia deer, the Game Warden is furious: "Boy! You got a hunting license from every state in the south! Where the hell are you from, anyway?"
The hunter drops his pants, bends over and says "You Tell Me!"

[Sniper-T]

http://coedmagazine.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/bad-tattoos-217.jpg?w=450

[Sniper-T]

http://sphotos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/560556_468005383233421_667278981_n.jpg

[Echo2]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpAOwJvTOio

[4suchatimeasthis]

^^^ Wait, I'm confused, am I supposed to laugh, or cry?

[Echo2]

^^^ Wait, I'm confused, am I supposed to laugh, or cry?

A bit of both....:)....:(....:/

[Sniper-T]

yin/yang?

[izzyscout21]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpAOwJvTOio

http://static4.fjcdn.com/comments/3986128+_0e29a0446d96d138e7f1b06aa63261cf.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

Ok.............maybe free condoms aren't that bad of an idea................she may have been preventable

[izzyscout21]

http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx288/2crgrunt/random%20thread/398260_480200598671654_1622431352_n_zps0cc380e8.jp g
http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx288/2crgrunt/random%20thread/376952_359824387424943_1548662325_n_zps9141d471.jp g

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/255473_470986576267621_1025375661_n.jpg

[Echo2]

http://uberhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/QmeNo.png

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/550915_277819465668852_1312662206_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/251061_362101440541428_163765756_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/284038_362004930551079_2120703638_n.jpg

The guy buys 2 cases of beer and a box of tampons. That way the cashier always understands, the wife is on the hummm and he needs the beer to get thru it.

What can you think of?

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/420421_361044713980434_675472934_n.jpg

[Echo2]

I was standing in line with the Mrs and a buddy.....I was going to a paintball game....he had a pulled muscle.....she needed feminine products....

She looked down and decided to go to the car....my buddy looked down and said He was going to get his wallet....I was standing there...and realized I had....

A athletic cup....

A tube of IcyHot....

And a box of tampons....

They were laughing their asses off when I got to the car.....but the cashier never blinked....:)

[Echo2]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/s480x480/552233_10150939187967395_1683469654_n.jpg

[4suchatimeasthis]

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=531594270188568&set=a.254913211190010.81431.228061520541846&type=1&relevant_count=1

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/c0.0.395.395/p403x403/545773_531594270188568_1479759273_n.jpg

[Echo2]

http://i621.photobucket.com/albums/tt300/renonow/GRFS/1bigdane.jpg

[4suchatimeasthis]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/68739_289922951113646_1634517967_n.jpg

I am tempted to try this...how hard could it be?

[Sniper-T]

A+ for presentation.

[Echo2]

http://www.geekologie.com/2010/02/15/bacon-turtles-1.jpg

[4suchatimeasthis]

Wow, hot dogs, bacon, cheese....I wonder what else the center is wrapped around...hhmm....

[Taz Baby]

hamburger or sausage maybe

[Echo2]

Beef

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/247632_450708834968070_1098466991_n.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/417241_450633151642305_1052328966_n.jpg

[Echo2]

http://i1055.photobucket.com/albums/s507/jad1978/obamagas.jpg

[Echo2]

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/189221_535049869857804_1636260298_n.jpg

[Echo2]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlwilbVYvUg&feature=player_embedded

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/564079_395316860541050_2029895936_n.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/307963_394295207309882_598994921_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/560734_393780004028069_2127443762_n.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

This is the attitude of all cats. It's all about what they want, not what you want. But ya gotta love them.

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/284080_393188994087170_113940203_n.jpg

[4suchatimeasthis]

OMG, Echo2, after a rather crap-filled morning, I really needed a good laugh, thanks!!! About 2:20 I was just about falling off my chair. Wow....yeah, thanks!

[Sniper-T]

I guess you learn something new everyday:

Did you know "listen" and "silent" use the same letters?

Do you know that the words "race car" spelled backwards still
spell "racecar"?

And that "eat" is the only word that if you take the first
letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense "ate"?

And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in
"illegal immigrants," and add just a few more letters, it
spells: "Go home you free-loading, benefit-grabbing,
resource-sucking, baby-making, non-English-speaking jackasses
and take those other hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making,
camel-riding, goat-loving, raggedy-ass *dune-coon bastards *with you."

How weird is that ?

[Echo2]

rhythm is the longest word with out a vowel.

[AlphaTea]

rhythm is the longest word with out a vowel.

rhythms

twyndyllyngs

I came across this trivia recently

[4suchatimeasthis]

Well, except that technically Y can sometimes be considered a vowel, lol. Doesn't anyone else remember the vowel song, "A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y" ?

[Echo2]

http://i1077.photobucket.com/albums/w475/Shawnson133/party_zpsedb1cb26.jpg

[Echo2]

http://i.imgur.com/204lu.jpg

[Sniper-T]

A soldier goes over the hill, rounds a corner and runs smack into the arms of an officer. Where do you think you're going,son?, asks the officer. I'm sorry, Captain: the firefight was so heavy, I just went AWOL. What do you mean Captain? I'm a General! Wow! says the soldier.I didn't realize I'd run THAT far back.

[Echo2]

https://imageshack.us/a/img607/7854/13v152.gif

[Echo2]

Graphic violence.....but funny.....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzhVAJOHgQo&feature=player_embedded

[Taz Baby]

Gun size does matter

A kick off of Echo2 video. Same graphic violence


http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=y3PjLfDR1kU&feature=endscreen

[Echo2]

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/255449_446767708702807_1826479607_n.jpg

[Echo2]

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/A4U7Ec_CMAAeqkk.jpg

[Echo2]

http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/28295853.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

http://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/224703/43441.JPG

- - - Updated - - -

http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/28295537.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/28295926.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/28295968.jpg

[Echo2]

Oldy but a goody....

$1,000,000,000

How many zeros in a billion? This is too true to be funny.

The next time you hear a politician use the
Word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about
Whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,
But one advertising agency did a good job of
Putting that figure into some perspective in
One of it's releases.

A.
A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
B.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
C.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were Living in the Stone Age.
D.
A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
E.
A billion dollars ago was only
8 hours and 20 minutes,
At the rate our government
Is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain...
let's take a look at New Orleans ...
It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

Louisiana Senator,
Mary Landrieu (D)
Is presently asking Congress for
250 BILLION DOLLARS
To rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number...
What does it mean?
A.
Well .. If you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans
(every man, woman, and child)
You each get $516,528.
B..
Or... If you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787..
C.
Or... If you are a family of four....
Your family gets $2,066,012.

Washington , D. C
HELLO!
Are all your calculators broken??
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax (Fed)
Federal Unemployment Tax (FU TA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties(tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
(And to think, we left British Rule to avoid so many taxes)

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago.....
And our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt....
We had the largest middle class in the world.....
And Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened?
Can you spell:
'POLITICIANS!'

And I still have to
Press '1'
For English.

[Echo2]

TYPICAL GOVERNMENTAL MOVE.



This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property.
It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania.
This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter,
you won’t stop once you start.


This is an actual letter: State of Pennsylvania 's letter to Mr. DeVries:

SUBJECT: DEQ ... File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec 20; Lycoming County



Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations.. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2010. notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division.


Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:

Re: DEQ File
No.. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 11/17/09 has been handed to me. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane , Trout Run, Pennsylvania .

A couple of beavers are in the process of constructing and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials 'debris.'
I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

My first dam question to you is:

(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or

(2) Do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. (Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.)

I have several dam concerns. My first dam concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer.

The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names.

If you want the damed stream 'restored' to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2010? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice by then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your dam step! The bears are not careful where they dump!

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

THANK YOU,

RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/546796_454912661218192_92122232_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/c0.0.403.403/p403x403/62028_10151108977972945_1641499116_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

I hope I don't get that old


http://pages.suddenlink.net/rrinto/Maxine.JPG

[Grumpy Old Man]

^ I think you'll find that getting old beats the hell out of the alternative!

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/c0.39.403.403/p403x403/559414_10151189680627436_1576400970_n.jpg

- - - Updated - - -

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/c0.0.403.403/p403x403/488295_412917115439590_1681022793_n.jpg

[Sniper-T]

A little hometown humour. See how many of these things make sense to any of ya - lol


Guide to
Winnipeg....


First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is WIN-A-PEG, not VIN-A-PEG
and it does not matter how people pronounce it in other places.

Winnipeg has its own version of traffic rules.
Never forget that downtown Winnipeg is composed in large part of one-way streets.

The only way to get out of the center of town is to turn around and start over
when you reach the river.

All directions start with, 'Go down Portage.'

Portage Avenue has no beginning and no end.

The 8:00 a.m. Rush hour is from 6:30 to 9:30a.m.
The 5:00 PM rush hour is from 3:30 to 6:30 p.m.
Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, there's no chance you're from Winnipeg.
Yellow lights are for sissys.

Lagimodiere Blvd. can only be pronounced by a native
Winnipegger, so do not attempt the phonetic pronunciation. People will simply tilt their
heads to the right and stare at you.
(And let's not forget Noter Dayme! And of course, Portidge.)

Bingo, Bugs and Perogies are a way of life. Deal with it.

Construction on the Winnipeg streets in summer is a way of life and a permanent form
of entertainment. Especially those dopey-looking city workers holdingup signs in traffic
that say in big orange letters 'SLOW' ( I always want to yell, 'You don't really need to
advertise, buddy!'.)

Many bizarre sights can be explained simply by realizing, 'Oh, we're in Transcona!'

Construction crews aren't doing their job properly unless they close down all lanes except one during rush hour.



Where Mama Geese and their babies have ABSOLUTE Right of Way on ALL streets every Spring.



If someone actually has his turn signal on, it was probably left on at the factory where the car was
made.

Buying a Winnipeg street map is a waste of money since the termination or
continuation of any street is entirely at the discretion of the Works Department of the
City: e.g.: Salter, Isabel, Balmoral, Colony, Memorial, Osborne, Dunkirk. You've gone
two miles down the same road and the name changes seven times.

Asking directions will help you get acquainted with numerous happy-to-help residents. It may not be any help at
all for finding the address you seek.

Never honk your horn at another car in traffic.
The bumper sticker that reads, 'Keep honking, I'm reloading.' Is considered a fair
warning.

Exit and entry ramps on the Perimeter Hwy. are just the recommended way of
entering and exiting, feel free to exit at any grassy point you wish.

All drivers frightened of heights, stay clear of Charleswood and its ten-foot ditches. Believe me
when I say you won't get out without a hundred-dollar towing bill.

Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your bluespruce.

Down South to you means Grand Forks.

Your July 1st picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You find 0 degrees 'a little chilly.' But it is still t-shirt weather.

You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your
Manitoba friends.

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/66230_457770410932296_24997161_n.jpg

[Echo2]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/66230_457770410932296_24997161_n.jpg

And that's how the fight got started....




The Mrs was standing in front of the mirror naked....

She says "My skin is wrinkling....my boobs are sagging....i got love handles.....and my hair is going gray.....why don't you be a sweetheart and say something that is good about me...."

I turn to her and say...."your eyesight is perfect...."

And that's how the fight got started

[Echo2]

http://uberhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/resized_FXxib.jpg

[4suchatimeasthis]

http://youtu.be/OUnqyrj_BQE

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time!

[Sniper-T]

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony

On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around .

A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.


The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you call for me?'


The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?'


She says, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.'


Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.


The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and, as he sits down, he farts....


Within minutes, a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam-room toward him, 'Did you call for me?' says the hairy man.


'No, what do you mean?' says the newcomer.


'You must be new,' says the hairy man, 'it's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.


The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she says.


The man yells, 'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500.00 membership fee.'


'But, Sir,' she replies, 'you've only been here for a few hours. You haven't had the chance to see all our facilities.'


The man replies, 'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 35 times a day!!

[Sniper-T]

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

'Breast-fed,' she replied...

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.


She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came.'

[4suchatimeasthis]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/407645_528252753868945_809801505_n.jpg

[mitunnelrat]

I believe I'll go stand oustide now.

If anyone asks for me, please feel free to tell them I'm outstanding.

[4suchatimeasthis]

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger, Holly Madison said, "I have my own reality show and I am the smartest and prettiest woman at Playboy, so Americans don't want me to die." She took the first pack and jumped out of the plane.

The second passenger, John McCain, said, "I'm a Senator, and a decorated war hero from an elite Navy unit from the United States of America .So he grabbed the second pack and jumped.

The third passenger, Barack Obama said, "I am the President of the United States and I am the smartest ever in the history of our country, some even call me the 'Anointed One.'" So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped out.

The fourth passenger, Billy Graham said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life and served my God the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute." The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. Graham. There's a parachute left for you. America’s smartest President took my schoolbag."

[Taz Baby]

thanks guys and gals for keeping this up while I am away. But looks like you put funnier stuff up than me.

[4suchatimeasthis]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/c0.0.403.403/p403x403/527501_297585010350614_1927641288_n.jpg


Must prep more toilet paper.....

[RedJohn]

http://i1019.photobucket.com/albums/af318/Jeepsnguns/dopamine-dump-10.jpg

[RedJohn]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/29816_568428506516808_924343351_n.jpg

[Sniper-T]

http://323archery.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/539277_460135507370821_1645736713_n.jpg?w=614

- - - Updated - - -

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much..

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then he married the one with the biggest tits.

Men are like that, you know.

[Sniper-T]

Two friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them,

'Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.'


'Sure,' they said, 'You're welcome.' So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around

the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, 'What do you do for a living?'
'I'm a hit man,' was the reply.
'You're joking!' was the response.
'No, I'm not,' he said, reaching into his golf bag and pulling out a Sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. 'Here are my tools.'
'That's a beautiful telescopic sight,' said the other friend, 'Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from Here.'
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window.'
'Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom... Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her.....

He' s naked, too!!!'
He turned to the hit man, 'How much do you charge for a hit?'
'I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.'
'Can you do two for me now?'
'Sure, what do you want?'
'First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.'
'Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson.'
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few Minutes.
'Are you going to do it or not?' said the friend impatiently.


'Just be patient,' said the hit man calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here !!'

[Grumpy Old Man]

http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd421/GrumpyOldMan53/WORKFORMILK.jpg

For Izzy

http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd421/GrumpyOldMan53/ninjacat.jpg

[4suchatimeasthis]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/22493_4844192743683_1878401941_n.jpg

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/59409_390566937684256_988435144_n.jpg

[Echo2]

Hey folks....I'm not sure what's going on....but I've already shot 14 zombies.

Weird thing though.....I thought they ate brains....all these were midgets and were carrying candy.

[piranha2]

Same thing happening here. they may be more organized than we thought. Ugly little critters, too.

[Sniper-T]

mmmmm candy....

[Sniper-T]

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, 'What the heck is going on here?'

The drunk, still staring down replied: 'I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost.'

[Sniper-T]

There were two nuns.

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past
thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most!
What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He
started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll
go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.



Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what
has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both,
so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I
could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster
than man with his pants down.


And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,

Say two Hail Marys!

- - - Updated - - -

Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist!! (true story)..


Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum velocity.

The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on
the Windshields of their new high speed trains.

Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin like an arrow shot from a bow..

The horrified Yanks sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions.


Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:


"Defrost the chicken."

[Taz Baby]

Ok if I had a boss I would do this to them. But since I work for myself I don't want to. So who is going to play this trick on someone?




https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/533618_404241792982294_12975436_n.jpg

[Echo2]

http://i.imgur.com/ABMi6.png

[Taz Baby]

A man came home from work and found his 5 children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and no
sign of the dog, walking in the door, he found ...an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall, In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel... She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?' She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?...
''Yes," was his incredulous reply..
She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.'

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/481891_378692032215763_1241172065_n.jpg

[Taz Baby]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/269878_368235633262623_1292121691_n.jpg

[4suchatimeasthis]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnHNqvOB42M

In honor of my parents hunting camp, where I was raised "up dare in da nort woods, ey" in northern Wisconsin....I grew up on this song, caution, it's insanely stupid....you were warned....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnHNqvOB42M


The only thing better than this is "Escanaba In Da Moonlight", and if you don't know what that is, well, you are missing out on the greatest hunting story ever told....Yooper style!

[Taz Baby]

2 year old dancing the jive




http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=4wt824D1Bqg

[Sniper-T]

http://media-cache-ec4.pinterest.com/upload/107523509822950370_9WKiiBdb_c.jpg

[Echo2]

http://www.buzzhunt.co.uk/wp-content/2012/11/9774.jpg

[bacpacker]

Shit that's some FUGLY people.

[Sniper-T]

Spend Sheeple... Spend!

http://www.bestbuy.ca/en-CA/product/sharp-sharp-90-1080p-120hz-3d-led-smart-tv-lc90le745u-lc90le745u/10206670.aspx?path=59fc27cb5459de026780dd73496f53b ben02

Good lord
:rolleyes:

[piranha2]

Good Lord is right.

[Sniper-T]

A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN


To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some
similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!


PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!

[mitunnelrat]

I like it, T, its funny. This means its also quite obviously NOT British humour, as its too obvious...

In fact, it reeks of a fashion quite unlike their favoured comedic delivery. That known as "dry" humour.

Who can blame them though? Their "bitters" are akin to warm skunk piss when compared to a good - well, anything, really, from Germany!

:D

[bacpacker]

Spend Sheeple... Spend!

http://www.bestbuy.ca/en-CA/product/sharp-sharp-90-1080p-120hz-3d-led-smart-tv-lc90le745u-lc90le745u/10206670.aspx?path=59fc27cb5459de026780dd73496f53b ben02

Good lord
:rolleyes:

T, I have been working in the Audio/Visual group at work since April. (not my chosen field by any means, but it has been interesting and a learning experience). Anyway, In the past 2 months, I have purchased one of these monitors and an 80" model that is pretty much just like it. It is a nice set, and I got it for $500 less than best buy. But it is so big you would have to put it in a large room to be able to use it properly.

[eagle326]

T, I have been working in the Audio/Visual group at work since April. (not my chosen field by any means, but it has been interesting and a learning experience). Anyway, In the past 2 months, I have purchased one of these monitors and an 80" model that is pretty much just like it. It is a nice set, and I got it for $500 less than best buy. But it is so big you would have to put it in a large room to be able to use it properly.


MAN I sure am glad you put a nail on the wall for me and mine brother!!!! Oh you do have driect t.v. right? :p