Positive mental outlook

[Grumpy Old Man]

In reading the threads in the financial forum, here in the general forum and in the Intelligence and breaking news forum, that we have addressed being mentally prepared for bugging out and coming home to loss, for mentally preparing and training for violent encounters and for mentally preparing for SHTF. What we haven't covered is maintaining a positive mental attitude for the myriad daily struggles we all have; loss of a loved one or friend, financial worries, theft, illness or infirmities, challenges with others and that most devastating of all-self-doubt.

My boss (the owner) and I had a 2 hour meeting this morning wherein we went over upcoming projects, production schedules, construction schedules, critical paths and P&L. In our industry, 90 days has become the new 30 days. And over regulation is stifling projects and payments. It is a daily struggle to stay in business. And he emigrated here from Europe to escape Socialism. So he is dismayed as am I with how our younger generation has lost the "can-do" attitude that used to be prevalent here.

We discussed the worries and doubts we both experience on a day to day basis in trying to keep the company going. And then we discussed how important it is to have a positive mental attitude, not only for the company's success, but for employee morale and for our own health (we're both on the far side of 50; he farther than I). He's an atheist; I am not. But surprisingly we both have similar approaches to maintaining a positive outlook.
Take time for yourself to treat yourself good (I find that a banana split is great for this). Stay hydrated (seriously). Take pleasure in the simple things-your garden, sunrise, sunset, birds. rabbits (I've got a bazillion in my neighborhood and they all come out at dusk), nature in general, and in family. And we both do something my grandmother taught me- to count your blessings.

Compared to some of my friends recently, my losses are trivial compared to theirs. I have a job; I'm not too worried about bills; I have my family and friends; and while this isn't where I thought I'd end up it's still a pretty good place. And most of all I stay close to my faith and look for the good, especially when it is so easy to see the bad. Not to get all Pollyanna, but I figure that I can be as happy and positive as I want to be.
And in these times I need to be happy and positive all the time so that I don't get overwhelmed by daily life and its challenges; because if I do I'm failing myself and the people who rely on me. For me, failure is not an option!

How do the rest of you ants maintain your positive mental outlook?

[Kodiak]

Whenever life starts to get me down I think about my two boys, and no matter what challenges may be thrown at me ill meet them head on to make sure they have more opportunities than I did.

It's nice to be reminded to stop and smell the roses from time to time, thanks Grumpy.

[The Stig]

Not sure how I missed this on the first go around.

I find I need to do a number of things to stay positive...

Plenty of sunlight. My mood is directly impacted by exposure to King Sol

Plenty of rest. Too little sleep = grumpy Stig

Don't pet the sweaty stuff. Whenever I get hyper focused on minor issues I tend to get myself wrapped around the axle for no good reason.

Stop and smell the roses. I know it sounds corny, but when I enjoy playing with LiL Stig, or admire a pretty sunset, or just find some small amount of humanity it always puts me in a better mood.

Remembering the world doesn't revolve around me. Shocking I know. The more I remember this the better mood I'm in.

[Echo2]

One tip that has worked for me.....

Is to take an average person in your life you have no real "connection" with.....and try to imagine their entire day....from feet hitting the floor to hitting the sac that eve,

Then sit back and self analyze.....did you make their day easier or more complicated than yours?

Either way....you tend to make a connection with the world in a way that you realize that your problems and fears are one small part of the over all picture in your life.

This isn't to detract from the stress in your life....but to put it into perspective.

Being able to step back and look at the bigger picture is a skill I find a lot of folks lack......they become so focused on their little place in space that they lose sight of the over all insignificance of most problems.

A old timer told me....when you are being stressed out about something.....take a second to ask yourself if the problem you are confronted with will affect you tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, and a year from now...or not at all.....then attack the problem accordingly.

It is amazing how many of them fall into the "not tomorrow" or "not at all" categories

It does help to have the mentality that allows you to say "PHQ IT" from time to time....:)

[apssbc]

I use a multitude of things to stay positive. If its a bad/trying situation I'm in I think of those I know who are worse off than me.

I easily get pissed at work because of the stubbed toe bs calls and what not. As soon as I see this starting I think about how lucky I am to have a stable job. Then I think of the good calls I've had where lives were saved or a simple call with an appreciative patient.

No matter how hard we try we all end up in a why me/life is unfair mood at some point and time. The fiancée and I notice this in each other and we go back to how lucky her and I have been in the past 7 years. We talk how good things are. We're very supportive of each other and it works well.

Then as others have said we need time to get away from it all. We go boating which we just get away from the world and relax for the day. I've been known to pack a bag and well take off for a day or two for spur of the moment mini vacations. Also we like to shoot and that seems to reduce my stress levels. Anything outdoors especially hunting or sitting on the deck helps.

Support of family is crucial to staying positive. The last trick I use is music. I love reggae music. It's very liberal music but i get past that. Listening to the beat just makes me relax.

[izzyscout21]

I just tell myself this:

"They can't take my joy."

and also:

"Stop whining, and ranger the hell up."

[bacpacker]

this is a very important thread, and one that needs to have a lot of thought given to it by all. We try to keep a positive attitude as much as we can, however this doesn't make any difference sometimes. During those times I try and just focus on finishing up the task at hand. Once thru that, I try to step away even if just for a few minutes. Take a short walk, or just get to a quite area and take some deep breaths.

After a longer period of getting down in the dumps, We to try and take a road trip out in the country, to the lake, or mountians and just chill out for a bit. If nothing else just go out and walk around our property a little bit and get things off your mind for a while.

After dealing with the wife's car wreck back in the 90's, we figured out real quick that we can deal with most anything. We may have to adapt to different situations, but we can do whatever we have to do. Knowing that in advance of whatever may come, sure makes the long run crap easier to deal with.

[realist]

I sent my son away to College figuring that he would either sink or swim. That was three years ago and all I can say is what a change. From the kid that always wanted to party and not come home, the one whose conversation with us was usually only a grunt or two. He now is a pleasure to be around. He now has a great work ethic. When he comes home I go in his room and it is clean and neat, when he was in high school it was a disaster zone. He is a good cook, which is more than I can say for the majority of the women that he see. He now wants to come home every chance he gets and actually likes to talk to us. The best thing was when there was a power outage in the southern part of the state the first thing he did was call and asked me for advice. When he came home all he wanted to do was put together a proper kit that would protect him and the others close to him down there.

I have been teaching at our local Community college for the past 25 years. I see all types that come through my classes. We are now on a new cycle of kids coming out of the military and I see these as our leaders in the future. So all I can say especially after meeting some of the kids my son hangs around with is that this current generation is salvageable. I have found that this generation looks up to my generation more so than the last one.

Just a note we have a large construction company in our area and whenever a kid comes in for a job the first question the owner asks have you ever been in Boy Scouts or the Military. If they say yes they are generally hired.

The big thing that I have done to keep my sanity is to get away more often. A good friend of my who owns a large ranch gave me some great advice about projects. If you do not get done with it today it will always be there tomorrow. You can only do so much.

[ak474u]

I try to be positive, it'll probably never work though... Lol. I just look at my 2 year old, and realize that he lives for the moment, and while it's a bad way to live as an adult, it's really a joy to watch. I find that when I'm feeling negative, other than watching politics, or the way others act, it's the result of not doing something right, or just being disorganized. So, when I get that way, I set about planning to fix things that are messed up, or making plans for new projects. It would be super easy to stay negative, but the end result would be to let things slide, and end up with more things that mess up my positive outlook. Ive been thru a near implosion of my marriage due to some hard feelings about being made a second class citizen after my son was born, I've had a couple of hard work low pay jobs that didn't work out, as well as the loss for both of us on the same day of our REALLY good jobs back in 08' and my wife losing yet another good job in 2010. We're back up and running strong again, no debt, I like my job, and there is growth potential, and my wife has a possibly huge job offer coming next week that would get her out of retail stores, and into corporate 9-5 M-F which opens me up to more firearms industry part time jobs until I'm certified to teach chl classes in TX. So, lots of positive things are going on, but it's a constant daily struggle not to wish I could just go out and start my SBR AK build, and SBR AR Builds or go buy more gear, or optics that cost as much as a gun, I really can't do those things yet, and having been used to doing whatever, whenever, and not worrying about the money before our big job losses, and my son's arrival etc. (I forgot to cash a 10k check back in 07' until the accounting dept. called me and asked what happened, ah the good old days) it was hard to break the "super consumer" mindset, which like lots of other Americans seemed to be a substitute for real happiness instead of seeking it in the things that don't cost a thing, and matter most. I feel my best when I'm making stuff, or fixing stuff, or planning to do so, years ago, I woulda just gotten pissed off, and bought another, or paid for the work to be done.

[4suchatimeasthis]

What a great thread!

I am privileged and blessed to live the life of a stay-at-home-mom, and live on a farm out in the country. I have a 14 yr old stepson, 7 yr old girl, 3 yr old girl, and 3 mo. old girl. Plus the critters, horses, dogs, chickens, cats, etc. We bought our (previously vacant for a few years) farm last year and have been working on remodeling the house and rebuilding the out buildings, put up fences, taming the lawn (it was over my husbands head last summer, and he is 6' tall) etc. It's been a lot of work, and it is rewarding, it's my dream and life's ambition to be a mom and raise my kids on a farm. But man, some days it just all seems to go to heck.

I really only have one of "those" days a couple times a year, but when I do, I walk away from whatever project I am working on- like others pointed out, it will be there tomorrow, and send the kids to bed early after a dinner from a box. If it's nice outside, I might take my camera and go shoot something, I love photography and have lots of subjects here around the farm. If its nasty outside I make myself some sweet tea and watch "Happy Gilmore" or "The Ringer" and spend 2 hours laughing my butt off. Works every time!

[Echo2]

What a great thread!

I am privileged and blessed to live the life of a stay-at-home-mom, and live on a farm out in the country. I have a 14 yr old stepson, 7 yr old girl, 3 yr old girl, and 3 mo. old girl. Plus the critters, horses, dogs, chickens, cats, etc. We bought our (previously vacant for a few years) farm last year and have been working on remodeling the house and rebuilding the out buildings, put up fences, taming the lawn (it was over my husbands head last summer, and he is 6' tall) etc. It's been a lot of work, and it is rewarding, it's my dream and life's ambition to be a mom and raise my kids on a farm. But man, some days it just all seems to go to heck.

I really only have one of "those" days a couple times a year, but when I do, I walk away from whatever project I am working on- like others pointed out, it will be there tomorrow, and send the kids to bed early after a dinner from a box. If it's nice outside, I might take my camera and go shoot something, I love photography and have lots of subjects here around the farm. If its nasty outside I make myself some sweet tea and watch "Happy Gilmore" or "The Ringer" and spend 2 hours laughing my butt off. Works every time!

That's a good ambition to have....:)