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Thread: Funny Side of Life

  1. #561
    This guy has "some" flashlights. Just a couple. As in, a metric-butt ton of em.

    Echo2's Avatar
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    The Difference Between a Welfare State and a Totalitarian State is a Matter of Time.

  2. #562
    This guy has "some" flashlights. Just a couple. As in, a metric-butt ton of em.

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    The Difference Between a Welfare State and a Totalitarian State is a Matter of Time.

  3. #563
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    A Smart Blonde Joke


    A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

    The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.

    The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.

    The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

    An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

    The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

    What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

    The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

    Finally... a smart blonde joke.

  4. #564
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    In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

    The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

    She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
    youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

    The defense attorney nearly died.

    The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

    'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

    - - - Updated - - -


  5. #565
    Let him know if you need 550 cord, a hank of generic rope, and some duct tape

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    The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

  6. #566
    Crotch Rocket


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    Funny Side of Life

    This made me laugh, Mega, but not why you might think

    A (French) man doesn't get labeled "the source of all known trouble in the universe" lightly. You may have just brought that much trouble on yourself! Lol
    Consilio et animis

    Essayons!

  7. #567
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    I know it's not terribly ladylike of me, but I can't seem to help myself, lol.

  8. #568
    Let him know if you need 550 cord, a hank of generic rope, and some duct tape

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    A (French) man doesn't get labeled "the source of all known trouble in the universe" lightly. You may have just brought that much trouble on yourself! Lol
    Flame suit on!

  9. #569
    I'll most likely shit myself



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    Do I see a new name tag in the works??

    (Think I'll hide and watch this one )

    Good one BTW MEGA

  10. #570
    Does NOT use a snake bit sucker kit on snake bits

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    Quote Originally Posted by 4suchatimeasthis View Post


    I know it's not terribly ladylike of me, but I can't seem to help myself, lol.
    And what about Nutcrackers... Collectible, Useful Aids or .
    You don't need to be the strongest
    or the most intelligent to survive
    but by having the right tools and
    the adaptability of change
    is where you will prevail.

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