Do magazines really need to add the word "Alive" to "Sexiest Woman" or am I just grossly underestimating the number of necrophiliacs in the world??
Do magazines really need to add the word "Alive" to "Sexiest Woman" or am I just grossly underestimating the number of necrophiliacs in the world??
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
If it is Wet, Sticky, and not yours... DON'T TOUCH IT!
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
Darn that logicOriginally Posted by Sniper-T
I farted.
WARNING: This post may contain material offensive to those who lack wit, humor, common sense and/or supporting factual or anecdotal evidence. All statements and assertions contained herein may be subject to but not limited to: irony, metaphor, allusion and dripping sarcasm.
Did you know your second toe being longer than the first signifies royal bloodline
I must be the king of something with my pointertoe
In this case, if its wet and sticky, still DON'T TOUCH IT! Even though it is yours!
The exception being if you have a toe like this, then you can use it to push that shit down a drain...
Consilio et animis
Essayons!
weren't a lot of royalty inbred?
WARNING: This post may contain material offensive to those who lack wit, humor, common sense and/or supporting factual or anecdotal evidence. All statements and assertions contained herein may be subject to but not limited to: irony, metaphor, allusion and dripping sarcasm.
Were and most likely still are.
My grandma used to say the same thing about the second toe, pretty much our whole family has them. Supposedly we are related to Norwegian/Swedish royalty. I seriously doubt it. My grandpa is kinda obsessive about that sort of stuff though, a few years ago we went over to Norway to do some family history searching. I guess if that's your thing......all I know is, longer second toes look better with toe rings. I went through a toe ring stage in college.
Totally unrelated, but hey, it's fantastic music, and what I am listening too while writing about long toes. I really need to get a life!
"Treason to tyranny is fidelity to liberty."
A married couple was in a terrible accident in which the man's face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.
So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.
However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his baby face!
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.
He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"
My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek." ♥
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