"I'm too sexy for my dress."
"I'm too sexy for my dress."
I am me,
I am free,
You can not change me.
If you try, you will see,
That I am unchangeable,
Because I am me.
WARNING: This post may contain material offensive to those who lack wit, humor, common sense and/or supporting factual or anecdotal evidence. All statements and assertions contained herein may be subject to but not limited to: irony, metaphor, allusion and dripping sarcasm.
dagnabbit the picture didn,t come up. Will try again tomorrow when I go into town for internet.
I am me,
I am free,
You can not change me.
If you try, you will see,
That I am unchangeable,
Because I am me.
On August 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge .
So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to commit suicide."
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.
After they finished, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether “she” jumped or was pushed.
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
I am me,
I am free,
You can not change me.
If you try, you will see,
That I am unchangeable,
Because I am me.
The Difference Between a Welfare State and a Totalitarian State is a Matter of Time.
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday "I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing drugs."
I said "Okay, but don't go in that field over there".
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and shoved it in my face. "See this fucking badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear?.... do you understand?!!"
I nodded politely, apologized, and went about my chores. A short time later, I heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by my big old mean bull. With every step the bull was gaining ground on the
officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
I threw down my tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of my lungs...
"Your badge, show him your fucking BADGE!!"
The Difference Between a Welfare State and a Totalitarian State is a Matter of Time.
^
Ain't karma grand!
lol
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
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