And I am guessing he was refering to the sandbox, not the parking lot
And I am guessing he was refering to the sandbox, not the parking lot
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
We are doomed....
The Difference Between a Welfare State and a Totalitarian State is a Matter of Time.
^^^ She has a metal of honor tattooed on her leg... The Retriever!!! LOL
You don't need to be the strongest
or the most intelligent to survive
but by having the right tools and
the adaptability of change
is where you will prevail.
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore.
A friend of mine was wearing one, when he was shot by the
woman's husband.
Pass this safety information on.
WARNING: This post may contain material offensive to those who lack wit, humor, common sense and/or supporting factual or anecdotal evidence. All statements and assertions contained herein may be subject to but not limited to: irony, metaphor, allusion and dripping sarcasm.
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
- - - Updated - - -
I am me,
I am free,
You can not change me.
If you try, you will see,
That I am unchangeable,
Because I am me.
- - - Updated - - -
I am me,
I am free,
You can not change me.
If you try, you will see,
That I am unchangeable,
Because I am me.
His request approved,
the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport
to charter a flight.
He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.
Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.
He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.
The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.
Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot,
'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'
'Why?' asked the pilot.
'Because I'm a photographer for CNN',
he responded, 'and I need to get some close up shots.'
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment,
finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me,
is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor?'
Two Arab terrorists
Are in a locker room, taking a shower
After their bomb making class in Melbourne ,
When one notices
The other has a huge cork stuck in his bum
If you don't mind my asking
Said the second,
'That cork looks uncomfortable.
Why don't you take it out?'
'I regret I cannot',
Lamented the first Arab.
'It is permanently stuck in my bum.'
'I do not understand,' said the other.
The first Arab says,
'I was walking along Russell Street ,
And tripped over an oil lamp.
There was a puff of smoke
And a huge old man
In an Australian Flag attire,
With a white beard and Akubra hat
Came boiling out.
He said, 'I am Captain Aussie,
The Genie.
I can grant you one wish.'
I said,
"No sh*t?
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
Three men died during the Holidays and showed up at the Pearly Gates at the same time. St. Peter looked at them and said " If you can show me something from your pockets that signifies Christmas, I will let you in Heaven."
The first guy reached in his pocket, pulled out his car keys, gave them a shake and sid "Jingle Bells". St. Peter nodded and let him into Heaven.
The next guy, knowing he couldn't repeat the Jingle Bells ploy, pulled a $10 and two $1s out of his wallet and said " The Twelve Days of Christmas". Once again St. Peter nodded and let him into Heaven.
By this time the third fellow was very nervous as he fumbled in his pockets to try and find something. He finally found some cloth and pulled it out and held up a pair of women's skimpy panties. St. Peter looked at him askance until the fellow quickly quipped, "Carol's", whereupon St. Peter let him in.
Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me Liberty or give me death." Patrick Henry, Virginia House of Burgesses, March 23, 1775
Quo Vadis?
Luke 22:36, And he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.
emergencyfoodssupplies.com
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a very
attractive woman waving at him.
She says, 'Hello.'
>
He's rather taken aback because he can't place
where he knows her from. So he asks, 'Do you know me?'
To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his
wife.
So he asks, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party
that I made love to on the pool table, with all my buddies watching, while
your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?'
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's school teacher.'
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day!
Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life!
Cat's are food... not friends!
If you're going to fight, then fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp into Noah's arc... and brother, it's starting to rain.
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