Domeguy's Freedom Fund

[Sniper-T]

liking the story too... but one suggestion, PARAGRAPHS!!!

[Domeguy]

Are you Mrs. Swenson, my English teacher,...jeez. Lol. And it's not a story...it's the truth!

[Sniper-T]

Nope but I might have done her... It's just a suggestion to make it easier to read!

[Domeguy]

Where was I...oh yea, paragraphs. Mrs. Swenson was in her late 60's in 1978, so what ever floats your boat. Now back to the truth.
This huge man with arm the size of oak trees swung over to the side of the upper bunk and dropped to the floor with a loud thud. "What are you doing waking me up at this time in the afternoon?" He yelled.
I looked at him, and started to plan my moves to knock his ass down to the floor, as this is what I do in situations like this, when I stopped for some reason.
"Hey, aren't you that guy, who was in that show, who did that thing, to that guy, with that thing, or something?"
"Keep your voice down," he said. "Yes, I'm Danny Trejo."
"Bbbbbbbbbut what are you doing here?" I stammered.
"I'm down here doing research for my next 'Machete' movie, but your doing to blow my cover. Keep your voice down"
"How did you get in here?"
"My agent paid off some of the guards in here, and I can get out any time I want. The guards will do anything for money."
"But how" I finally managed to get out.
"When I want to get out, all I have to do is act like I am trying to start a riot, and the guards will use the confusion to get me out in a large black suitcase. There also is a white car waiting for me on the outside."
I was stunned. Here I was with the love of my life, and we were separated by iron bars in this hell hole, and this asshole paid someone to get in here. I started formulating a plan at this moment. I was smart enough to hide the bulk of my money in my 'amazing super deluxe money belt', by Ronco, TM. that I was fortunate enough to purchase in the airport before we took off in the US. These local cowboys didn't take it off me before throwing me in my cell.
It was about then my beautiful Carlotta woke up in her cell. "Just hold on my sweet mango flower. I have a way to get us out of here."
I opened my money belt, and pulled out a couple of thousand in $100 bills. I told the ladies across the hall of my plan, and tossed some of the money to them. It was to help in out escape, and latter to buy their freedom out of this hell hole.
I discussed my plan also to Mr. Trejo, who after accepting about $100,000 for himself, was on board. I told Carlotta to get ready, and I I called for the guard. I told him I was Danny Trejo, and it was my time to go, along with my agent across the cell. I paid him $200,000 before he came on board.
I started kicking at the bars, and generally making an ass of myself, and started yelling "I am going to start a riot". This is when the ladies started screaming. There were only 6 of us in the jail, but I was in the presence of a great American actor, so I reached down deep into my soul, and pulled out a performance that surely would have won me an Oscar, an Emmy, and the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes back home. It wasn't long before the guard came back, unlocked the cell, and brought in a black suitcase.
I was packed inside, and due to the tight fit, I had to strip off all of my clothing except or my white socks. My beautiful Carlotta was looking stunning in her black Spanx tights and a white short dress over them. Damn she looked sexy, and was soon wheeling me down the hall, headed for the door and freedom. But just as she was reaching for the handle, the door was thrown open from the other side.
And who else could it be but dear ol Daddy himself, and my beautiful delicate flower Carlotta just froze.
"Well, just what do we have here?" he bellowed, and reached down and unzipped the zipper.

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[Domeguy]

As I could hear through the material of the suitcase, I could everything, an I was ready to work my mojo. I was rather warm inside the bag, and I therefore was glistening with sweat, which made my body slippery. I was able to spring from the suitcase like a, well, like a spring. I connected to his jaw with my right fist, and he went down like a sack of potatoes. Carlotta snapped out of her daze, and jumped back a bit with surprise.
"Don't worry, my little passion fruit, it's all still going according to plan."
I quickly stripped him of his clothes, and put them on. I then stuffed him in the suitcase, zipped it up, and placed it in a corner. I heard a noise and turned around. I was facing a prison riot. I am not sure where they came from, but there were prisions everywhere. I thought there were only 6 of us, but I guess I was wrong.[IMG][/IMG]
I again was expecting to have to fight our way out, when their leader stepped forward. He was dressed impeccably in his business attire, with a hat that stated a sense of intelligence. I could tell this was a man of high breeding.[IMG][/IMG]
"Senior Trejo, my brothers and I are with you, and will fight by your side until the end, or until 7:00 tonight. That's when 'Matlock' comes on."
"Fair enough my brother, fair enough" I told him and started looking for the white car in which to make our escape. I spotted it in the parking lot across the street, and again my super trained brain started formulating a plan. I turned to the leader and told him what to do. In a flash, the flash mob of rioting prisoners were running through the streets and reeking havoc on the town. A siren screeched, tearing the air apart, and making my ears want to bleed. I grabbed my tender petal of love Carlotta by the hand, and ran to the waiting car.
As we jumped in, we were surrounded by the jails elite guard. I started the engine, and as it roared to life, I honked the horn, and spun the tires creating a cloud of dust. They were confused by my brilliant plan, and thought I must have gotten out of the car and ran back across the street. I took advantage of this and I aimed ft their cloud and floored it, taking one of them out along the way.
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We left them in a cloud of dust, dazed and confused, wondering what just happened.
I turned to my little snuggle bunny Carlotta, and asked her where her Grandfathers traveling show was this time of year. She told me he has to retire, and now all that was left of the show was her aging grandmother, and of course, El Deablo, her once beloved pet donkey.[IMG][/IMG]
So we headed off into the dust, to join up with granny.
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[robsdak]

you crack me up!.

[Domeguy]

I was keeping the pedal of the white Pontiac to the floor, as I drove like I was in the lead on the last lap at Talladega.
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I only slowed down as she was started to over heat, and a bit of steam was starting to leak out. Carlotta that is, not the car.
"Turn left down that next gravel road" Carlotta yelled, trying to be heard over the whine of the engine.
I kicked in the clutch, down shifted the tranny, pulled up on the parking brake handle, and executed the perfect drift turn, which is a bit strange as the car had a automatic transmission and a pedal for the parking brake.
"Granny's place is just over the next rise" Carlotta yelled as the bottom of the car scraped the road and sparks flew in all directions. The road dipped down sharply, then seemed to rise straight up. I saw only sky for what seemed like an eternity, then the nose of the car finally tipped slightly forward, and the world came back into focus.
The narrow road opened into a small valley. The beauty was breathtaking. There were colorful old carney trailers everywhere, intermixed with old trucks and trailers with pictures on the sides, and traveling carnival rides. A small tent tent sat to one side with a sign over the top of it which read in three lines, "PALMS READ, FORTUNES TOLD, DONKEYS PLEASURED."
The sign brought back memory's of my youth I hadn't thought about for ages. As a boy, born and raised in the Mid-West, and leading a somewhat sheltered life, I had always wondered about the seedy traveling shows that passed through our town every summer. When I was just barely a teen, just starting puberty, my mind would wander trying to imagine all of the dark secrets that would happen after most of the towns lights had gone out, and the lights would come on inside the dimly lit tents and trailers. "Was it really possible," I wondered in my pubescent thoughts. "Could a woman, with just her, hand, using her fingers in ways I had yet to imagine, really do that...really be able to stroke you, and read your palm?"
I was jerked back to reality as Carlotta yelled out "Granny", and jumped out of the car barely giving me time to hit the brakes and put the car into park. She ran to where a futon was in front of the tent, and I could see from the woman reclining upon it where my Carlotta had gotten her good looks. She was dressed tastefully in black, and looked as she has just stepped out from her hair dresser She had the body of a dancer, and the face of an angel.

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She looked up through her teary eyes at her granddaughter she had thought never to see again. She stood and they embraced each other and cried for several minutes. I uncomfortably stood there and looked around at all the strange sites before me. The place seemed to have fallen upon bad times in the last decade.
"Granny, this is the man who I am going to marry."
This brought my attention back into full focus as Granny grabbed me and gave me a hug, bringing my face full into her busom and holding it there for what seemed like an eternity.
"Come, come inside where we can sit and talk, Can I get you something to drink?" Grammy asked.
"I'll take a beer if you have one? " I said.
She turned toward a closed door and yelled "Agnes, get your scrawny butt out here, and bring a couple bottles of tequila with you."
Through the door came Granny's sister Agnes, looking every bit a beautiful as her sister, and also dressed elegantly in black. It was evident they went to the same hair salon.

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[Domeguy]

"Our little Carlotta has brought home a fella" Granny told Agnes.
I asked Carlotta if all of her family were ballet dancers?
But before she could answer, Agnes said "You can bet your ass we are. We all have been dancers for generations past, and still are." as she pointed out of a flap in the tent looking out beyond into the courtyard. Outside was Granny's other sister Papita, stretching and limbering up to do her routine.

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We all have been dancers, even your father danced Carlotta, when we would cross over the Rio Grande and go up into California. He had a knack for it.

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But that was of course before he left us and joined up with the Federalies and the drug cartels.

[robsdak]

dude, you a knut!!! no need to visit the 'bears'. you have a spot on the entertainment committee.

[Sniper-T]

*shudder*

that is all...