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Thread: Thursday Morning Scare ...

  1. #1
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    alpmco's Avatar
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    Thursday Morning Scare ...

    So yesterday morning at 5am my wife wakes me to tell me there is someone in the garage. She gets up earlier and off to work by the time I crawl out of bed. So she was dressed and I was not.
    I asked how she knew and she said she heard a mechanical voice saying “no cell service”. The intruder had a cell phone that was blocked by the steel garage door.

    Ok, so I get dressed and grab the pistol. She already has her revolver in hand. I head out the front door with her hiding behind me. (She figured whatever weapon they had would not pass through me?) Garage door was closed. Side door was locked. Lights were off in the garage.

    I told her to back up and hit the remote control to open the garage door. Door opens, lights come on and no one, nothing runs out. I walk past my old Jeep and out of the corner of my eye see the GPS is on. For some reason it turns itself on. So it gets no signal in the garage and occasionally states, “Unable to acquire satellites”.

    I think I’m having a problem with my wife using me as her shield. We laughed about it and she promised if things had gone south she would have taken out the person that took me out. Huh ???
    War is ugly, but to be dominated by aliens is even uglier!

  2. #2
    I'll most likely shit myself



    bacpacker's Avatar
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    Sounds about like my wife "I'll back you up".

    GPS must be a Garmin?

  3. #3
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    Yes, A Garmin it is. It kept turning on and off like it was possessed. I replaced it gut couldn't throw it away. I played with it and discovered it was a bad power cord. Now it stays on but wont stay off. When it gets hot it turns itself on. My garage gets pretty hot in the summer time when all the doors are closed.
    At least she didn't try to go out the other way ... She would have mistaken me for the intruder.
    War is ugly, but to be dominated by aliens is even uglier!

  4. #4
    Do NOT mess with him while he's pumping gas.

    ak474u's Avatar
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    She's has your back.... waaaaaaaaay back. Glad it wasn't a bad guy.

  5. #5
    The source of all known trouble in the universe



    RedJohn's Avatar
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    Hey guys, it is your job to protect the woman. I am glad I don't have one.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedJohn View Post
    Hey guys, it is your job to protect the woman. I am glad I don't have one.
    You mean you have to cook and clean (and other things) for yourself? Bummer.
    War is ugly, but to be dominated by aliens is even uglier!

  7. #7
    The source of all known trouble in the universe



    RedJohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alpmco View Post
    You mean you have to cook and clean (and other things) for yourself? Bummer.
    Cooking? I do mostly sandwiches, MREs and restaurants.
    Cleaning? Once a month and I hire a maid.
    Sex? I am going to be blunt, but overall a professional will cost me less (and I am talking the good kind) and won't bitch at me.

    Ant the rest of the time and money?? I do what I want when I want it and buy what I want. I love being alone though and I have no wish for kids.

  8. #8
    Stalkercat...destroyer of donkeys, rider of horse


    izzyscout21's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedJohn View Post
    Cooking? I do mostly sandwiches, MREs and restaurants.
    Cleaning? Once a month and I hire a maid.
    Sex? I am going to be blunt, but overall a professional will cost me less (and I am talking the good kind) and won't bitch at me.

    Ant the rest of the time and money?? I do what I want when I want it and buy what I want. I love being alone though and I have no wish for kids.
    kinda makes me wish I were back in Germany....lol
    WARNING: This post may contain material offensive to those who lack wit, humor, common sense and/or supporting factual or anecdotal evidence. All statements and assertions contained herein may be subject to but not limited to: irony, metaphor, allusion and dripping sarcasm.

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