I'll be gentle.... well, as gentle as dirty medicine can be. I can patch you up, that don't mean it's going to be pretty.
I've got a really neato staple suture gun and this really cool high-speed pen type cauterizer.
And I wouldn't wake it in med school because most patients don't appreciate you telling them to "suck it the f&^% up, shut the hell up, and quit acting like a bitch."
I also don't believe they encourage you to comment on how cool the scar is going to look.
I DON'T HAVE GOOD BEDSIDE MANNER.
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